It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that for the
beneficial
of society and Replace the word
benefit
individual
, everyone should get married before Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
there
30 but Correct your spelling
they are
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
oppose
. I somehow disagree with the notion, and I think that we should leave Correct pronoun usage
oppose it
this
decision Linking Words
on
their personal choice. In the upcoming Change preposition
to
paragraph
I will discuss both arguments.
Add a comma
paragraph,
Firstly
, if society Linking Words
set
Wrong verb form
sets
the
particular Correct article usage
a
age
for marriage it will lead to Use synonyms
increase
pressure on Wrong verb form
increased
young
generation to get a partner in Add an article
the young
hurry
which may result in Add an article
a hurry
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
decision
. Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
For example
, in some Linking Words
countries
there was Add a comma
countries,
survey
where some sort of Add an article
a survey
age
was set for marriage have Use synonyms
high
rate of divorce because people make decisions without thinking properly. Add an article
a high
Moreover
, today’s generation Linking Words
focus
more on their career and Change the verb form
focuses
want
to Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
fulfill
their dreams on their own so that they do not have to depend on their partners but if they married at an early Change the spelling
fulfil
age
and their partner Use synonyms
do
not allow them to follow their dreams than their life will be wasted. Correct subject-verb agreement
does
For example
, Linking Words
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
husband
who are from conservative families do not allow their Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
spouse
to do jobs for which they did a lot of hard work in their entire life.
Fix the agreement mistake
spouses
On the other hand
, Linking Words
according to
the Linking Words
society
perspective Replace the word
societal
for
Change preposition
apply
the
early marriage is that it will maintain Correct article usage
apply
the
population growth across the country. AsCorrect article usage
apply
,
it has been scientifically proven that with the increase in the Remove the comma
apply
age
Use synonyms
group
the chances of pregnancy decrease drastically. So, getting Add a comma
group,
in
Change preposition
into
relationship
at Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
early
Add an article
an early
age
increase the chance of getting pregnant. Use synonyms
Apart from
Linking Words
this
, if the couple is lucky and they successfully Linking Words
delivered
their baby in their forties, the offspring will not get proper care from their parent because when the child Wrong verb form
deliver
will be
a teenager the parents will get old.
In conclusion, It should be advisable to the individual when to get married but the decision should be Wrong verb form
is
there
own.Correct your spelling
their
Submitted by sainimuskaan387 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors like 'there' instead of 'their' in 'before there 30.'
examples
Use concrete examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, you mention divorce rates; providing citations or specific studies could strengthen your argument.
structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to it.
structure
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, providing a nice framework for your argument.
content
You address both perspectives, showing a balanced approach to the question.
tone
The essay maintains a formal and appropriate tone for IELTS Writing Task 2.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example