Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?
The advancements of online systems have been popular recently, resulting in more
people
interacting virtually than in actual Use synonyms
life
. In my opinion, the frequent use of online platforms to socialize could lead to detrimental implications in the future because individuals will be less sociable and will experience negative changes even worse, it could trigger crimes.
Socializing online is undoubtedly known to be addictive so that drives individuals away from reality because they focus on virtual Use synonyms
life
. Use synonyms
This
can gradually lead to detachment from and ignorance of society as they tend to be secluded. Linking Words
For instance
, teenagers who often use social media have many interactions through the internet with their friends, which restricts them from meaningfully connecting with their families in real Linking Words
life
since they have become engrossed in online interactions. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the more obsessive they are, the more they isolate themselves from the real world.
Linking Words
Moreover
, social media definitely has high accessibility for its users, creating a place where Linking Words
people
can commit illegal actions easily. If Use synonyms
people
simply engage with strangers, Use synonyms
then
it negatively attracts bad individuals as they could benefit from them in many ways because those criminals will seek Linking Words
for
advantages by wrongly utilizing internet platforms. To illustrate, online site users often feature confidential information or even update their activities regularly, which lures offenders to steal their personal data to be sold to others or used when committing their actions in order not to be caught. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, it will affect Linking Words
people
's safety by involving them in dangerous situations.
To summarize, online socialization only brings negative developments by making Use synonyms
people
oblivious and solitary about their surroundings and real Use synonyms
life
, Use synonyms
as well as
getting them into serious problems that can happen unexpectedly and heighten the risk of criminal victimization.Linking Words
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on
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task achievement
Although your response is complete and addresses all parts of the question, consider elaborating on the positive aspects of online socialization if applicable. This can provide a more balanced view, which often strengthens your argument.
task achievement
While the ideas are logically presented, further development of one or two key points could enhance clarity and engagement. For instance, adding more detail to the consequences of online socializing could provide deeper insights.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied transition words to better link your ideas and paragraphs, ensuring smoother flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, which nicely frames your argument.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples that effectively illustrate the main points you are making, which aids in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.