IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the employment of students from four counries in the UK after their first courses in 2001.

The table below shows the employment of students from four counries in the UK after their first courses in 2001.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table provides information about the types of
employment
Use synonyms
 for fourth-degree graduate students from four countries in the United Kingdom in 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of students from
Scotland
Use synonyms
 worked in permanent
employment
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 overseas
employment
Use synonyms
 was considerably the lowest among all countries. The highest rate of permanent
employment
Use synonyms
 was in
Scotland
Use synonyms
 at 43.6%,
while
Linking Words
 the halved percentage was in Northern Ireland at 20. There was
similarity
Correct article usage
a similarity
show examples
 in
England
Use synonyms
 and
Wales
Use synonyms
, with 33% and 30%, respectively. Regarding temporary
employment
Use synonyms
, Northern Ireland experienced the lowest amount at 8.6%,
while
Linking Words
 it was twice as high at 12.4% in
Wales
Use synonyms
. There were no significant differences between
Scotland
Use synonyms
 at 20.2% and
England
Use synonyms
 at 23%.
Scotland
Use synonyms
,
England
Use synonyms
, and
Wales
Use synonyms
 showed approximately the same
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 2.6%, 2.3%, and 2.9%, respectively. As for total
employment
Use synonyms
,
Scotland
Use synonyms
 dominated with 66.4%, and
England
Use synonyms
 at 58.3%. It is in stark contrast that
Wales
Use synonyms
 and Northern Ireland experienced significantly lower percentages 45.3% and 33.6%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, scotland, england, wales with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: