It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At the current time, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own
technology
Use synonyms
tools
Use synonyms
which give them
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
privet space to use the
technology
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
causes
Verb problem
has
show examples
a bad
inflince
Correct your spelling
effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
family relationships and communication. From my perspective, there are
advantegis
Correct your spelling
advantages
and
disadvantegis
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
regarding
this
Linking Words
matter.
To begin
Linking Words
with good side of having
an
Change the word
your
show examples
own space
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
using
technology
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
will give every member of the family
to have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
his or her own time and that will help to improve the
custmizeation
Correct your spelling
consumption
of
tools
Use synonyms
. For
inestence
Correct your spelling
instance
, if one member of the family is working in
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
indestures
Correct your spelling
indentures
industries
he or she will be able to discover more about
this
Linking Words
field with
Correct article usage
the inhanceing
show examples
inhanceing
Correct your spelling
enhancing
of personal
spece
Correct your spelling
speech
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
is rapidly improving, if there is
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
user for each tool the
posibilty
Correct your spelling
possibility
of understanding the user and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
custmize
Correct your spelling
customised
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
will be increased and improved by the tool.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, members of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
will not be able to spend time with each other and that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
of the family communication.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
issue can be
adderssed
Correct your spelling
addressed
by setting some
rouls
Correct your spelling
rules
that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
familys
Correct your spelling
families
to
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
control
the using of electronic
tools
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
sechaduling
Correct your spelling
scheduling
a family meeting every day in
living
Add an article
the living
show examples
room without any
technology
Use synonyms
tools
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, having
a praivet
Correct word choice
proper
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
tools
Use synonyms
for each member
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the family
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not
effecting
Verb problem
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationships and communication if there are clear
rouls
Correct your spelling
roles
rules
rolls
in the house.
Submitted by 100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address both sides of the argument more equally, offering more balanced views and examples for the advantages and disadvantages of technology in family communication.
task response
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide more examples and elaborate on how these examples impact family dynamics.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph connects smoothly to the next one, enhancing the coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Summary points could be more aligned with arguments presented, reinforcing the conclusion with references to discussed ideas.
task response
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, indicating a fair level of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points of your essay are clear, and you've attempted to support them with relevant ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: