Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Individuals have segregated and polarised views about the matter of adding physical
activities
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
syllabus.A segment of society contends that sports should
add
Wrong verb form
be added to
show examples
in centre of learning,as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
adults
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
super active and cooperative.The main positive draw of
this
Linking Words
idea,associated with
this
Linking Words
mechanism is the advancement of mental well-being and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
catability
Correct your spelling
stability
capability
in education.
This
Linking Words
essay will proffer positive impacts of
leasiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
pleasure
activities
Use synonyms
with specific examples. To commence,the main idea associated with
this
Linking Words
mechanism is the advancement of mental and physical health,which
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
students
to become
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becoming
show examples
super active and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
increases
students
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students'
student's
show examples
academic performance.As we know,
this
Linking Words
generation mostly
use
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uses
show examples
thier leaisure
Correct your spelling
their leisure
time on screen,
hence
Linking Words
,they cannot focus on their studies,if they divert their attention from social media to sports
activities
Use synonyms
,they can become active and energetic.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
playing and investing time in physical
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
promotes teamwork,discipline and leadership skills,which helps youngsters in their practical
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Another worth-considering element associated with
this
Linking Words
mechanism ,it has been assumed,
young
Correct word choice
that young
show examples
ones who
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing games
instead
Linking Words
of using electronic devices have
extra-ordinary
Correct your spelling
extraordinary
show examples
performances in academic performances.
According to
Linking Words
BBC
news
Capitalize word
News
show examples
,
adults
Use synonyms
who are engaged in various exercises,have better performances in academics
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
adults
Use synonyms
who
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their on screens.
Moreover
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,it
also
Linking Words
promotes
Verb problem
encourages
show examples
adults
Use synonyms
to develop social skills,
as a result
Linking Words
,they can easily exist in
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
fabric. To put it briefly,the perspective of engaging students in
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
activities
Use synonyms
seems advantageous in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
run
due to
Linking Words
its weighty and fringe benefits.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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clarity
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit convoluted and may confuse the reader.
examples
Consider adding more specific examples. Personal or widely recognized examples can strengthen your arguments.
language
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy. Minor errors, such as misused words or typos, can affect the clarity of your message.
conclusion
Try to conclude with a stronger statement that sums up your position clearly. The current conclusion could be more definitive.
understanding
You have a clear understanding of the topic and provided logical reasons to support your views.
structure
Your essay has a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
argument
The argument for the benefits of physical activities is well-articulated, highlighting key advantages such as teamwork and discipline.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical exercise
  • holistic development
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • leadership skills
  • life skills
  • cognitive function
  • academic learning
  • resources
  • facilities
  • community partnerships
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