IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

Due to
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 growing financial pressures and longer life expectancy, many individuals are remaining in the workforce beyond the traditional retirement
age
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.
This
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 essay agrees that continuing to
work
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 beyond retirement
age
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 can be beneficial for society and individuals. Many elderly
people
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 can share their experiences with the young generations and support their families financially. Many elderly
people
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 who reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
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retirement
age
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 need to continue working these days. Economic growth and growing financial pressures have a significant impact on
this
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 decision. With advanced healthcare technology, life expectancy is increasing, prompting
people
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 to
work
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 longer.
Therefore
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, elder
employees
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 who are fit enough to
work
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 would continue working to support themselves and their loved ones.
For instance
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, many countries like Turkey have given opportunities to
people
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 who retire and continue working if they are physically fit.
Moreover
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, working in old
age
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 can contribute several benefits,
such
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 as mentoring young
employees
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as well as
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 having experience in the workplace, which can speed up the processes since there is at least one person who is experienced with years of working. Especially in these digital days, where young adults are struggling to learn how to proceed with their careers since technology has a big impact on their lives, an elderly person could help them figure it out by guiding them with their years of experience. In countries like Italy or Germany, elderly
people
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 are more knowledgeable than new graduates,
for instance
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;
therefore
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, old
employees
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 have the opportunity to mentor them before passing on their duties. In conclusion, it is beneficial for
employees
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 and employers to keep older workers if they are physically fit enough to
work
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. Modern-day problems,
such
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 as financial pressures and longer life expectancy, lead
people
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 to
work
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 more. Governments should consider whether
people
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 are physically fit enough to
work
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;
therefore
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, not everyone would be in the same category.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.
task response
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and valid reasons to support it.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive decline
  • Mental and emotional well-being
  • Social interaction
  • Financial stability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Self-worth
  • Physical health
  • Skill utilization
  • Experience
  • Flexible working hours
  • Generational gap
  • Elderly individuals
  • Retirement
  • Workplace
  • Economic contribution
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