IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three region of the world during the 1990's

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three region of the world during the 1990's
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates the reasons why the
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 around the world experiences
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 degradation. The table shows the same causes but it is based on three
regions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. When considered together, the information suggests that there was no correlation between the data. First of all, the
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 around the world experiences
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 degradation
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 4 main causes. The highest percentage is overgrazing
with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 35%, deforestation at 30%, over-cultivation at 28%, and another factor at 7%.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the 1990s, the table displayed the same problem but it was divided into 3
regions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 which were North America, Europe, and Oceania. The dominant region was Europe with 23% and it was caused by adding the 3 main factors which were deforestation, overgrazing and
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation

It seems that over cultivation is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
 with the number between 5.5% and 9.8%.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Oceania got 13% which made that region get the second place of the 3regions. The main reason for it was overgrazing with 11.3%.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is noticed that
over-cultivationcultivation
Correct your spelling
over-cultivation cultivation

If you don’t want over-cultivationcultivation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

didn’t have any impact with 0%. The
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 one was North America, with a total percentage was 5% and it has 1 main reason which was
over-cultivationcultivation
Correct your spelling
over-cultivation cultivation

If you don’t want over-cultivationcultivation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with 3.3%. In conclusion, the chart and tables do not have any correlation because the pie chart describes by word-wide,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the table only explains 3
regions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 but they have the same main problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words land, regions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: