It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way ofproviding work for others? Should people do these things themselves? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern world.
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
' are
all
Rephrase
always
show examples
time
Use synonyms
busy with their
work
Use synonyms
.so,they
have
Verb problem
do
show examples
not ample amount of
time
Use synonyms
for household chores.
However
Linking Words
,some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
believe that if people have not
time
Use synonyms
for any
work
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,they should need
Correct article usage
a hometaker
show examples
hometaker
Correct your spelling
homemaker
home taker
for household chores
along with
Linking Words
child
Use synonyms
care.I will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
things in the below paragraphs. On the one hand,nowadays, most of the people have been busy with their tight schedules.That's why they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not much
time
Use synonyms
for their personal
work
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some house chores. So,that cause they need to housetaker for their
work
Use synonyms
and
child
Use synonyms
care.
Also
Linking Words
,they
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
to
provides
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
to
Add an article
the caretaker
a caretaker
show examples
caretaker
Fix the agreement mistake
caretakers
show examples
.but it's not convenient for us.
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
because
show examples
they do not give perfect
work
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rather than yourself.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,it is not safe because all
caretaker
Fix the agreement mistake
caretakers
show examples
are not
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
.some
are stole
Change the verb form
are stolen
are stealing
show examples
homes things. Fourthly,they do not take care
child
Use synonyms
as a real mother or father.
Besides
Linking Words
,they do not give treatment like
parents
Use synonyms
. For illustration, when I was
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
that
time
Use synonyms
my
parents
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
employees. that's why I
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
not enough
time
Use synonyms
with them.
Hence
Linking Words
,when I remembered that
time
Use synonyms
I
feel
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
very dejected.
Due
Linking Words
to
Correct pronoun usage
to this
show examples
,I didn't spend much more
time
Use synonyms
with my
parents
Use synonyms
in my childhood.
However
Linking Words
, I think some situations when is not handling all
work
Use synonyms
in less
time
Use synonyms
. whenever, consult
homemaker
Correct article usage
the homemaker
show examples
.
Due to
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,some
time
Use synonyms
is important to freshness in life.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you get free
time
Use synonyms
during your
work
Use synonyms
. So,you can definitely
work
Use synonyms
with yourself.
Finally
Linking Words
. I give my opinion, it is best when your
work
Use synonyms
is done
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
.
Linking Words
also
Capitalize word
Also
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
is convenient for you rather than
caretaker
Add an article
a caretaker
the caretaker
show examples
. Mention with, children need
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
attraction to their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,in
this
Linking Words
essay
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
to disadvantages.
Submitted by shital20802 on

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task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to clearly define the topic and your position on it to make it more precise and comprehensible. Try to avoid grammatical errors that may confuse the reader, like inappropriate use of punctuation or shifts in verb tense.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph supports your argument with clear, related points that build on each other logically. It's important to have clear transitions between ideas for a coherent flow.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to illustrate your points and strengthen your argument, as this will enhance your overall argument and fulfillment of task requirements.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, considering the benefits and drawbacks of hiring someone to do household tasks.
coherence cohesion
There is a visible attempt to organize the essay into separate paragraphs, such as the introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Providing your own experience about not spending enough time with your parents helps to personalize the essay and adds depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic contribution
  • Specialization
  • Efficiency
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Leisure time
  • Stress reduction
  • Quality of work
  • Trained professionals
  • Dependency
  • Life skills
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Accomplishment
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