IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
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Nowadays, consumers in all countries in the world can buy
food
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 produced in
supermarkets
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. From my point of view, I think
this
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 is a positive development. At present, so many countries in the world
also
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 have
supermarkets
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 and
people
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 can buy many things
such
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 as
food
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 and drink. That place provides a variety of
products
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 and
people
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 can find anything they want there. Some
supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
supermarkets
open
Add a missing verb
are open
show examples
 in
Add an article
the apartment
an apartment
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apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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 and
people
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 who live
in
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apply
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there do not need to go
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to some
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some place
Correct your spelling
someplace
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 that far, they just need to go down and can see
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supermarket
Correct article usage
the supermarket
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 very
convinient
Correct your spelling
conveniently
. In some big stores, there are so many
products
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 and
people
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 do not need to worry about not having the product they need. In some modern
supermarkets
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, there are things I am really interested in
such
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 as automatic purchase,
people
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 just pick the product they want to buy and robots will do all for them.
On the other hand
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, the thing I think is very important to the health of consumers is the
quality
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 of
food
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 needed certainly by that
supermarket
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. But they can totally
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 in the
quality
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 of
food
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 which they sell in the
supermarket
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. In the past, if
people
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 wanted to buy
food
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products
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 or something else they needed to find some market and go there and the
quality
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 of
food
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 was not certain. Some
people
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 go to the hospital because they buy dirty
food
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 which is not good for them.
This
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 led to
people
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nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 choosing
food
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products
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 in
supermarkets
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 to be good for their health.
However
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,
products
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 in
supermarkets
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 are
also
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 varitier than in the past.
This
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 is because I always go to the
supermarket
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 to buy
food
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products
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. It is very
convinient
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convenient
 and has the best
quality
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. In conclusion, I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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Use synonyms
supermarket
Correct article usage
the supermarket
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 at
presents
Fix the agreement mistake
present
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 is a positive development because it give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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 so
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
products
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 and
very
Add a missing verb
is very
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 convenient to buy there.
Submitted by linh.le0995 on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, you should work on organizing your essay better. Ensure each paragraph clearly links to the preceding and following ones.
task achievement
Your argument is clear, but it needs more comprehensive ideas. Try to elaborate more on how global food availability impacts society in various aspects, such as economy, culture, and health.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your main points more effectively. Mention particular scenarios or studies if possible.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included both an introduction and a conclusion, with a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
You addressed the task promptly and ensured your argument was understandable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
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