IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

#people #countries #cars #first #time
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Lots of ladies and men in developed nations are buying
vehciles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 for the first time. The main
problrm
Correct your spelling
problem
 is that it causes
a major environmental issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
major environmental issues
a major environmental issue
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
air
Use synonyms
pullotion
Correct your spelling
pollution
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should launch a publicity campaign to educate
people
Use synonyms
.
Cars
Use synonyms
 are the main factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spreading bad quality of
air
Use synonyms
 in
croweded
Correct your spelling
crowded
 cities.
This
Linking Words
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
Use synonyms
air
Change preposition
in air
show examples
pullotion
Correct your spelling
pollution
 which is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an environmental problem that causes many health issues. So
people
Use synonyms
 who use
cars
Use synonyms
 as their only why of transportation
instead
Linking Words
 of buses or
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
 are called anti-environment which means
people
Use synonyms
 who hate the planet.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 New York
time
Fix the agreement mistake
Times
show examples
 magazine, the city of
Daka
Correct your spelling
Dhaka
 is one of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
cities in the region that has car smoke around the city.  To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem government should start a new
campiagn
Correct your spelling
campaign
 in
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to educate
people
Use synonyms
 and raise their awareness about the danger these
car's
Change noun form
cars
show examples
 smoke can cause. By doing that,
people
Use synonyms
 will not buy new
cars
Use synonyms
 anymore,
then
Linking Words
 they will use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation
instead
Linking Words
. An awareness could shed some light on
difficulte
Correct your spelling
difficult
 actions that these
people
Use synonyms
 do to our planet and allow
people
Use synonyms
 to be more keen.
For example
Linking Words
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
22
Correct article usage
a 22
show examples
% decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
baying
Correct your spelling
buying
show examples
 new
cars
Use synonyms
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in using buses in their commute to work.  In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 owning
cars
Use synonyms
 new can be the main reason behind
air
Use synonyms
pullotion
Correct your spelling
pollution
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a
wild
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
 range
campaigns
Change preposition
of campaigns
show examples
 can contribute
raising
Change preposition
to raising
show examples
 the awareness of
people
Use synonyms
 and educate them about the consequences of it.
Submitted by layan992015 on

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Vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary to express the same ideas in different ways. It will enhance the richness of your essay.
Grammar and Spelling
Some grammatical errors are present, although they are minor and do not impede understanding. Focus on subject-verb agreement and spelling.
Development of Ideas
Develop each main point a bit more to ensure a fully comprehensive response. Providing clearer examples or explanations can help achieve this.
Introduction
The introduction clearly sets up the essay’s topic and the problem to be addressed, which helps in understanding the main issues right away.
Coherence
Linkages between ideas are generally clear, enhancing the essay’s readability. Transitional phrases guide the reader effectively.
Examples in Argumentation
Use of a relevant example (Daka and Japan initiative) to explain the points shows an understanding of the topic and supports arguments well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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