More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Lots of ladies and men in developed nations are buying vehicles for the first time. The main
problem
Use synonyms
is that it causes major environmental issues
such
Linking Words
as
air
Use synonyms
pollution,
however
Linking Words
, to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, the government should launch a publicity campaign to educate
people
Use synonyms
.
Cars
Use synonyms
are the main factor in spreading bad quality of
air
Use synonyms
in crowded cities.
This
Linking Words
results in
air
Use synonyms
pollution which is considered an environmental
problem
Use synonyms
that causes many health issues. So
people
Use synonyms
who use
cars
Use synonyms
as their only
why
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
of transportation
instead
Linking Words
of buses or the metro are called anti-environment which means
people
Use synonyms
who hate the planet.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
New York Times
magazine
Capitalize word
Magazine
show examples
, the city of Dhaka is one of the cities in the region that has car smoke around the city. To tackle
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
government should start a new campaign in the media and schools to educate
people
Use synonyms
and raise their awareness about the danger
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
smoke
Wrong verb form
smoking
show examples
can cause. By doing that,
people
Use synonyms
will not buy new
cars
Use synonyms
anymore,
then
Linking Words
they will use public transportation
instead
Linking Words
. An awareness could shed some light on
difficult
Correct article usage
the difficult
show examples
actions that these
people
Use synonyms
do to our planet and allow
people
Use synonyms
to be more keen.
For example
Linking Words
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 22% decrease in buying new
cars
Use synonyms
and an increase in using buses in their commute to work. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
owning
cars
Use synonyms
new can be the main reason behind
air
Use synonyms
pollution,
however
Linking Words
, making a wide range of campaigns can contribute to raising the awareness of
people
Use synonyms
and educate them about the consequences of it.
Submitted by layan992015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
In the task response, while you have identified and explained the main problem and a solution, you could enhance your response by expanding on the solutions and giving more details about how they could be implemented practically. Consider also addressing other potential problems arising from increased car ownership.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the structure is relatively clear, but transitions between points could be smoother. Consider using more linking words to connect ideas more seamlessly and ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your main points effectively. This helps in framing your argument and allows the reader to understand your perspective from the start.
task response
You use relevant examples, such as referencing the city of Dhaka and an initiative in Japan, which help illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: