Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you thinkg it is a positive or negative development?

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There is no denying the fact that a large group of people in our world
sick
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are sick
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with different types of illnesses .
While
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it is
a
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apply
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commonly
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common
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that they are taking pills without a
doctor
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doctor's
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prescription
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due to
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apply
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that
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apply
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they will make
there
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their
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sickness
worst
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worse
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. In my opinion ,
i
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I
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consider that it is a negative development
according to
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a
variaty
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variety
of reasons that
i
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I
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will mention in my essay .
To begin
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with , taking
a
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apply
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treatment on your own can lead to deadly consequences ,
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, they can affect
their
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the
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body badly and
saffier
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suffer
safer
from many
diceases
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diseases
namely kidney failure ,
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and get
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get
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getting
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poisoned .
In addition
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, it can make them
more sick
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sicker
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by increasing the risk of dying
due to
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medicines
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medicines'
medicine's
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side effects .
For
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example
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example,
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if they took a pill and their body did not
responce
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respond
response
as it should
the
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they
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may die . Another point to consider , many factors related to
stop
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stopping
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this
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habit first of all , it could harm you badly . It is
also
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possible to say that having medicines without having
the
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apply
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enough
knowliege
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knowledge
as a doctor is
uncorrect
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incorrect
because
treat
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treating
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illness is a big field that
know
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knows
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one
understand
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understands
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it
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apply
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well unless they
stadied
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studied
it for a long period of time .
For instance
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, you can not know
thing
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things
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well only if you practice
it
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them
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and learn
it
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them
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and have the
qualification
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qualifications
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to do so . In conclusion , it is an important thing to discuss because many people could end up dying from doing it . I believe that no one should take any type of
pills
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pill
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until he
asked
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asks
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the right person
such
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as
doctor
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a doctor
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or even
pharmacist
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a pharmacist
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. And
i
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I
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think they must
encourge
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encourage
all humans about the side effects of any treatment .
Submitted by hooralahmadx4 on

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grammar
Improve Sentence Structure: Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical errors such as subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and article usage to enhance comprehensibility.
task achievement
Expand Explanation: Expand on the explanation of points made, especially when presenting examples or justifying opinions.
coherence cohesion
Organize Structure: Enhance the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly and addresses only one primary idea.
task achievement
Clear Position: The essay clearly communicates a negative stance on the use of alternative medicine over doctor-prescribed treatments.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and Conclusion: Both introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay's argument.
task achievement
Awareness of Topic: Demonstrates awareness of the potential dangers of self-medicating and the importance of professional advice.
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