IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#country #language #idea
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There is no denying the fact that living in a
country
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 that speaks a foreign language could be a serious social issue.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that living in a foreign
country
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 can cause social problems, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that living in a foreign nation could lead to several social problems.
To begin
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 with, plenty of
people
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 are living in foreign countries
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due
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apply
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to work and even study .
In other words
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, they face a lot of difficulty with communicating or ordering something.
In addition
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, when it comes to talk build relationships, it is definitely hard, because they have various cultures and thoughts.
For example
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, scholarship students face problems over and over and they ignore the rules of
this
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country
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. Another Point to consider, the majority of
people
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 are afraid to live in a strange nation. It is
also
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 possible to say that laws and regulations have made it more safe and more secure .
Moreover
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,
people
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 may experience depression and loneliness after immigration
due to
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 a lack of friends.
For instance
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, one of my friends moved to Dubai for her job and she does not make any friends after 3 years.
Hence
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, she was reluctant to stay there. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I believe that living in a foreign
country
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 can create many challenges, from job difficulties to social isolation making it harder to fully integrate and succeed in a foreign
country
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, and I fully agree with
this
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 statement.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main ideas are logically connected. While your essay has a sensible structure, enhancing the flow with clearer linking words and sentences will improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
You've addressed the topic comprehensively, weighing both sides of the argument before concluding with your stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Language barrier
  • Cultural norms
  • Social integration
  • Isolation
  • Social faux pas
  • Essential services
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Banking
  • Employment opportunities
  • Career advancement
  • Social networks
  • Emotional impact
  • Anxiety
  • Mental health
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