One of the consequences of improving medical care is that people are living longer and life expentancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disdadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the years life expectancy has increased significantly thanks to science, but can the advantages of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh

If you don’t want outweight to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the disadvantages? In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I am going to
analise
Correct your spelling
analyse

If you don’t want analise to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and respond with my personal opinion to that question. First of all, we have to name all the benefits that the increase
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the life
expentancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy

If you don’t want expentancy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

rate has
gived
Correct your spelling
given

It appears that the verb gived is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

show examples
us.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, one of the consequences that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has, is that over the years
scientifics
Correct your spelling
scientists

If you don’t want scientifics to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and doctors have discovered ways to cure
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
sicknesses that
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
some point
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
history were uncurable.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the
19
Correct your spelling
19th

If you don’t want 19 to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

century if someone had an open scar it was very probable that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
he
she

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
would die from an infection, but
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
nowadays
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not a problem.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if we think about the future, maybe in a few years there will be a cure for cancer,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
is going to be another cause of why we
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are living longer.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

event has its drawbacks that society and especially governments have to
made
Change the form of the verb
make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb made. Consider changing it.

show examples
up with solutions.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many countries are having problems with their pension system, because there are more old than young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Concequently, the actual workers
enoughf
Correct your spelling
enough

If you don’t want enoughf to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to finance the older population.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many
grandphathers
Correct your spelling
grandfathers
grandmothers

If you don’t want grandphathers to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that do not have a place to stay, because they do not have
eny
Correct your spelling
any

If you don’t want eny to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

family left,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, governments should create places for them to stay even when they do not have the money to
finace
Correct your spelling
finance

If you don’t want finace to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

it. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the rise
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
life
expentancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy

If you don’t want expentancy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

rate can have many flaws, the benefits that has and can give to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs

If you don’t want outweight to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

every disadvantage.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

do
Change the verb form
does

The plural verb do not does not appear to agree with the singular subject this. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
not mean that, and as I said earlier, governments will have to create policies that can solve these new problems that might come.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider organizing your ideas more clearly and ensuring each point is fully developed and tied back to the main question.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Using more varied linking words could help.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support the discussion, such as the development of medical cures over time.
task achievement
The essay makes a clear attempt to weigh both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: