Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance. What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
According to
the studies number of youngsters worry about how they look. In my view, the pressure from their peers and lack of confirmation of their worthiness from their Linking Words
parents
are the main causes of Use synonyms
this
problem. Growing Linking Words
confidence
in a Use synonyms
child
from Use synonyms
very
early Correct article usage
a very
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
by
frequent affirmation words and love from their Change preposition
through
parents
will Use synonyms
deffinately
alternate Correct your spelling
definitely
this
tendency in a positive way.
Society's judgment plays a big role in growing Linking Words
individual's
self-esteem. Considering the fact that most of the young population is spending most of Correct article usage
an individual's
the
time at Change the word
their
schools
with Fix the agreement mistake
school
the
classmates, the risk of becoming a victim of bullying is high. Another reason is coming from the way a Change the word
their
child
is being raised. Use synonyms
In
Change preposition
At
this
early Linking Words
age
it is highly important to make sure that Add a comma
age,
Use synonyms
child
is lovedCorrect article usage
the child
,
because his Remove the comma
apply
confidence
is being formed. Use synonyms
Confidence
Use synonyms
affect
the way growing ones Change the verb form
affects
are thinking
about Wrong verb form
think
themselfs
. Correct your spelling
themselves
According to
the studies, Linking Words
parents
who give their Use synonyms
children
constant affection and Use synonyms
loving
environment have Correct article usage
a loving
children
with a higher Use synonyms
confidence
Use synonyms
comparing
to the Wrong verb form
compared
parents
who have a toxic household environment.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
problem can be eliminated if every parent could Linking Words
aknowlege
how beautiful and amazing are their kids. If Correct your spelling
acknowledge
children
Use synonyms
knows
about that when they grow, they won't be thinking too much about society's opinion about their Change the verb form
know
appearience
. As an example, Correct your spelling
appearance
children
in Korea are much Use synonyms
Correct quantifier usage
more dependant
dependant
on their appearance Replace the word
dependent
beacause
of Correct your spelling
because
the
strict Change the word
their
parents
, Use synonyms
while
American Linking Words
children
are free Use synonyms
in expressing
Change preposition
to express
themselfs
and rarely worry about what Correct your spelling
themselves
other
think of their appearance.
Fix the agreement mistake
others
To conclude
, the reasons Linking Words
to
some Change preposition
for
children
's worries about their Use synonyms
look
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
is
a judgment from their Verb problem
apply
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
friends
and a Correct word choice
and friends
little
amount of affection from their Correct word choice
small
parents
. With the healthy Use synonyms
realationships
in the household, chances to raise a Correct your spelling
relationships
child
who is worried about their appearance are lower.Use synonyms
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task response
Try to provide more examples to support your points. For instance, you could discuss a specific situation or study that illustrates the impact of peer pressure on children's self-esteem.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and reducing repetition to enhance the flow of the essay. You can use different sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are clearly linked throughout the essay, perhaps by using more cohesive devices or transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework to your writing.
task achievement
You’ve identified significant causes for children worrying about their appearance, such as peer pressure and parental influence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.