IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that the internet has made life much easier for most people. However, others fear that it might also represent a threat. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #internet #life #fear #threat
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The
internet
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 brought everything
in
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into
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humans
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' lives, from sending a simple message to ordering
food
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 when
people
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 are sitting on their comfy
couch
Fix the agreement mistake
couches
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. Many feel it is a
threat
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 to
people
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's lives,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that the
internet
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 facilitates their lives and things become easy.
And in
Correct word choice
In
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this
Linking Words
 essay, the clarifications for both views with my opinion will shown. The
internet
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 has become necessary to the community, and many individuals think it
mead
Correct your spelling
makes
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 their
life
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 much easier,
such
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 as ordering
food
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 from home rather than going to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 restaurant and waiting in a queue that will waste their time, or watching movies
from
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on
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 Netflix as
alternative
Add an article
an alternative
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 to going to the cinema and being outside their house. And
also
Linking Words
 applying for a job opportunity in lieu attend the main centre of the company, all these factors are letting
people
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 think that the
internet
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 has made their
life
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 much easier.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
in
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on
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 the other hand, there are others
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
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 that the
internet
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 is making a
threat
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in
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to
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humans
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'
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, and those
people
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 think that because the
internet
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 keeps them uncommunicating with others
as
Correct word choice
apply
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is
Correct your spelling
it
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destroy
Wrong verb form
destroys
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 communication with families in their homes and
distracting
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distracts
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 them from doing practical things.
Such
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 as kids playing with each other or parents doing home chores. All these keep them believing that the
internet
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 kept us lazy. In my opinion, there are pros and cons
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
internet
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, and sometimes may be beneficial or harmful in utilizing it, and individuals should be balanced from using the
internet
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.
For example
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,
people
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 shouldn't order
food
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 every day from home, they sometimes have to go to the restaurant and buy their
food
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 to be engaged with society. The problem is not with the
internet
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 it is the usage of the
internet
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 and
humans
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 have to be balanced so they won't observe it as a
threat
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 to
humans
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'
life
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. Eventually,
people
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 have to be balanced in the use of the
internet
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, because overusing may be a
threat
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 and will destroy our
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mohnnad.als on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main ideas are fully developed with relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating words or phrases; use synonyms and varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively present the main ideas and opinion.
complete response
The essay clearly discusses both views on the topic, showing an understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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