Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There is an ongoing debate about whether rule breakers should be penalized with longer
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
or Use synonyms
Use synonyms
alternative
forms of punishment should be considered. From my perspective, Correct word choice
whether alternative
alternative
approaches should be adopted for offenders.
Crime levels have been increasing in the modern world, so prolonging Use synonyms
prison
punishment is an effective method to alleviate Use synonyms
this
phenomenon. Indeed, Linking Words
this
approach is a major contributor to public safety because it can prevent potential criminals from engaging in illegal actions. Linking Words
Furthermore
, individuals serving longer Linking Words
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
have ample time to reflect on their actions and work on rehabilitating themselves before being reintegrated into society. Use synonyms
For example
, imposing a 30-year Linking Words
prison
sentence on under-18 wrongdoers can prevent an increase in the rate of young criminals.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
alternative
punishments Use synonyms
such
as community service and educational activities may have more positive effects than imposing longer Linking Words
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, engaging in community service can improve offenders' mental health by allowing them to spend time outside the confines of Linking Words
prison
. Use synonyms
Additionally
, participating in educational programs during their sentence can equip them with essential job skills, enabling them to adapt to societal developments more effectively upon their release. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
Tuoitre, a prominent political newspaper in Vietnam, illegal activities declined significantly, and employment rates increased in 2023 following the implementation of educational programs in prisons.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
longer Linking Words
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
can maintain public safety, I believe Use synonyms
alternative
methods related to community and education can have positive long-term effects on society.Use synonyms
Submitted by Mads on
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coherence cohesion
Although your ideas are well-organized, consider using more connectives or transitional phrases to further enhance coherence. This will help guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
While the task is well-addressed, explore each viewpoint in greater depth to enrich your analysis. This could entail examining the potential drawbacks of longer prison sentences or highlighting more examples of successful alternative methods.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is maintained throughout the response, effectively addressing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your opinions and reinforces the points made, ensuring a cohesive end to the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the one involving educational programs in Vietnam, are provided, which effectively substantiate your argument about alternative methods.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.