These days, more and more parks and open spaces in cities are being turned into gardens where people can grow fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, citizens have been allowed to cultivate plants in local
parks
Use synonyms
and green zones by authorities.
While
Linking Words
these
changes
Use synonyms
could have some setbacks, I firmly believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. On the one hand,
reconstruction
Correct article usage
the reconstruction
show examples
of open spaces requires huge investments.
While
Linking Words
urban
gardens
Use synonyms
could be powered only by the government, funds
also
Linking Words
should have originated from them.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the authorities would like to
done
Verb problem
make
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
changes
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
would
also
Linking Words
mean
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the monetary plan’s reconsideration.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a great sum would be spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
conversion.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to maintain these
changes
Use synonyms
,
gardens
Use synonyms
will require services
such
Linking Words
as water supply, which is
also
Linking Words
costly.
Thus
Linking Words
, the planned
changes
Use synonyms
seem to be overwhelmingly expensive from the money perspective;
however
Linking Words
, in the case of enhancing locals’ mental
state
Add a comma
state,
show examples
it would be worth each spent penny.
Initially
Linking Words
, communal
parks
Use synonyms
were places where people could relax and recharge from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
everydays
Correct your spelling
everyday
struggle
Correct subject-verb agreement
struggles
show examples
. Unfortunately,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
original purpose
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was dimmed
due to
Linking Words
the daily hustle of life, so visiting
parks
Use synonyms
is no longer a popular activity.
Although
Linking Words
gardening in open spaces seems to be a method to
enhance
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
society to cultivate their own food by themselves, it is
also
Linking Words
a way to bring people back to nature. Establishing urban
gardens
Use synonyms
will provide society with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
task of growing cultures by themselves. Monotonous work with soil will give resolution to their mind, but it
also
Linking Words
will bring people together and create places for gathering. Not just increasing visitor numbers and new friendships,
Linking Words
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
show examples
citizens could be sure that their
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
show examples
and vegetables are organic and ecological. In conclusion, recently, the governments of the big cities have been converting communal
parks
Use synonyms
to urban
gardens
Use synonyms
. Obviously,
this
Linking Words
decision has some negative side, like the fund's question.
However
Linking Words
, there are more positives
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
idea not just from gardening itself’s perspective, but enhancing the population’s well-being.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To further enhance the clarity of your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. Organize your ideas logically and make use of transition words to improve flow.
task achievement
Including more specific examples or evidence would strengthen your points. For instance, you could mention specific benefits such as community cohesion or educational opportunities in urban gardening.
task achievement
Try to refine your sentence structures for improved clarity. Avoid overly complex sentences to maintain readability.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion provide a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of turning parks into gardens, displaying a comprehensive approach to the topic.
task achievement
The topic is addressed clearly, and the argument that benefits outweigh disadvantages is maintained throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban agriculture
  • Food security
  • Community cohesion
  • Sustainability
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Ecological balance
  • Urban heat island effect
  • Green spaces
  • Recreational space
  • Maintenance costs
  • Fresh produce
  • Social cohesion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: