IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that there are constant traffic jams in many cities around the world. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many cities are having truble with the amount car owners, because its generating a lot of traffic jams, but can governments do something about it. In
this
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 essay I am going to propouse three posible solutions to
this
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.
Firstly
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: There could be taxes to those automobiles that contaminate more than the average.
This
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 policy will cause an instant decrease in the number of car ownership.
For example
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, in Madrid, citizens can only drive a car that does not generate a certain percentage of pollution, and
this
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 has had a possitive impact in the city.
Secondly
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: politicians should communicate to their citizens the importance of using public transport, and
this
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 might sound easy but it is not.
However
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, there are many ways to do
this
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, but the most simple one is using comunicational methods, like social medias or tv. Governments need to explain to their people why using public transport is so important. And
thirdly
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: if the city has many tube lines, trams or buses, it will definitely solve a big part of traffic jam's problem.
For instance
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, I went to Amsterdam and I was surprised by the lower number of cars that were in the capital, and the cause of
this
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 was, because everyone was riding bicycles or using the metro.
Consequently
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,
this
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 shows how important is to have good transport methods. In conclusion, if governments want to reduce the number of cars that they have in their cities, they have to invest a better urban traspotation service, aplicate taxes to especific automobiles and incetivate people to use other ways to transportate themselves.

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Introduction
To strengthen your essay, ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the topic and what will be discussed. Currently, it lacks specific mention of the issue stated in the topic and what solutions will be proposed.
Grammar
Focus on refining grammar and sentence structure. For instance, correct phrases such as 'truble with the amount car owners' to 'trouble with the number of car owners' and 'propouse' to 'propose'.
Examples
The reasons are relevant, but try to provide more varied examples from different cities or countries to enhance the richness of your essay.
Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly. In your future writing, focus on using linking words effectively to connect ideas.
Organization
Clear identification of three measures governments can take to reduce car ownership.
Examples
Provided a relevant example by mentioning Madrid's policy, helping to substantiate your point effectively.
Conclusion
Concludes with a summary of the main points, providing a sense of closure to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapidly
  • traffic jams
  • car ownership
  • partially true
  • extent
  • infrastructure
  • population density
  • public transportation
  • measures
  • discourage
  • reduce
  • congestion
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