IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some citizens are convinced that the most efficient approach for solving transportation and
traffic
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 issues is to make those
people
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 living in the countryside or the suburbs move to the urban areas more willingly. Personally, I do not agree with
this
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 point of view. I do accept that urbanisation might help to unload roads and prevent streets from being congested with
traffic
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 because most
people
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 living outside
cities
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 usually work in urban areas. They commute to work to the central parts of
cities
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 which leads to
traffic
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 jams and multiple problems with
transport
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.
That is
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 why living closer to their workplaces could mitigate these issues significantly, decreasing the need for the use of private or public
transport
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. As an alternative, they can,
for instance
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, get from A to B on foot or by riding bikes.
However
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, I do not think that
such
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 an approach is possible because
cities
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 cannot accept too many new residents as their areas are limited. If it happens, the prices for housing will skyrocket to unbelievable levels and very few
people
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 will be able to pay rent. I take the view that the most optimal way to handle problems related to
transport
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 and
traffic
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 in
cities
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 is to launch the program of public transportation network expansion, which will make it more reliable for the population. For
this
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 purpose, governments ought to allocate a significant proportion of their budgets to
this
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 area in order to make public
transport
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 more attractive to each inhabitant, which, in turn, will reduce the use of
people
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's private vehicles and prevent
traffic
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 jams.
For example
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, passing new lines of metro in London over recent years has decreased congestion in its streets during rush hours by 30%.
As a result
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, it will be much easier for everyone to commute or to reach a final destination. In conclusion,
although
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 moving to
cities
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 might unload roads and prevent problems associated with transportation to some extent, I consider that only effective steps made by local authorities can cope with these issues most effectively.

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argumentation
To strengthen your position, you may want to consider counter-arguments and then refute them. This shows a deeper level of analysis and understanding of the complexities of the issue.
language use
While your essay's arguments are well-structured, consider using more varied transitional phrases to enhance coherence and make the essay flow more naturally.
content development
Explore more specific examples or data points beyond the London metro line to support your argument, which can make your essay more convincing.
introduction conclusion
Your essay provides a clear and direct response to the question, with a strong and well-structured introduction and conclusion that neatly bookend your argument.
logical structure
The logical flow of ideas is coherent throughout the essay, with each point logically leading to the next, and your paragraphs are well-organized with relevant examples appropriately used.
task response
You effectively highlight the complexities of the issue and propose a viable alternative solution, which showcases your understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • infrastructure
  • public transport system
  • commute times
  • peak hours
  • density
  • urban infrastructure
  • sustainable living
  • satellite cities
  • digital solutions
  • remote work
  • regional lifestyle diversity
  • traffic congestion
  • suburban and rural areas
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