IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that capital punishment are effective in term of curving crimes and should be given priority during choosing punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #punishment #term #crimes #priority
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Some people
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
 capital sentences
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 an effective way to reduce
crimes
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 it is needed to
be prioritise
Change the verb form
be prioritised
show examples
 in judging criminal cases. To some extent, I do agree
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 enacting capital
punishment
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 certain
crimes
Use synonyms
 that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 severe negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our society and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the arguments.
Firstly
Linking Words
, severe
punishment
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 form of
death
Use synonyms
 sentences is important because of
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 effectiveness in reducing potential
crimes
Use synonyms
 in the future. Giving people examples of what they will get if they do a crime that will get them
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
death
Use synonyms
 penalty should make people think twice about what they are doing.
However
Linking Words
,
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
 penalty should only be limited to severe
crimes
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
 of terrorism could be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
severe
crimes
Use synonyms
 since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 usually
targets
Correct subject-verb agreement
target
show examples
civilian
Fix the agreement mistake
civilians
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a large scale,
thus
Linking Words
making
Verb problem
putting
show examples
 society in danger
overall
Linking Words
.
Secondly
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, establishing capital
punishment
Use synonyms
, especially for certain
crimes
Use synonyms
, could
also
Linking Words
 make our judiciary system more efficient in making their decision. Different from prison
punishment
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 requires the judges to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
how long the
punishment
Use synonyms
 will
last
Linking Words
, the
death
Use synonyms
 sentence is only a matter of yes or no.
Although
Linking Words
 it is not always as simple as that,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the
death
Use synonyms
 sentence
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
 binary options,
while
Linking Words
 imprisonment
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not.
For example
Linking Words
, if judges encounter a severe crime, they could simply discuss whether the
death
Use synonyms
 penalty is needed or not for the case. In conclusion, I agree with the statement
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the arguments about
effectiveness
Correct article usage
the effectiveness
show examples
 and efficiency
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our judicial system
to treat
Change preposition
in treating
show examples
 certain cases. Meanwhile, I
also
Linking Words
 stated that
while
Linking Words
 it is important to establish
death
Use synonyms
punishment
Use synonyms
, it is important to limit the usage only to the most severe
crimes
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 act is important in order to keep
this
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 measurement only for safeguarding our society and not for other purposes.
Submitted by rhisaaidilla on

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grammar
Ensure subject-verb agreement, e.g., 'Some people argue,' not 'Some people argues.'
clarity
Clarify the difference between argument points, such as effectiveness and efficiency, to avoid overlap.
structure
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position from the start.
examples
Good use of examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning terrorism cases.
structure
Structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task response
Balanced argument considering both sides of the issue.
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