IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that not many
people
Use synonyms
 can take their dream
jobs
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 take
jobs
Use synonyms
 which are not relevant to their
talent
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I examine the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 situation and the consequences of the situation. There are several reasons that
people
Use synonyms
 are facing
this
Linking Words
 situation.
First,
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
 have their dreams but only a limited number can take the position.
For example
Linking Words
, many children want to be sports players
such
Linking Words
 as baseball, football, and basketball.
However
Linking Words
, the number of adults who can be sports players is limited,
thus
Linking Words
 most of them have to give up their dreams
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of
talent
Use synonyms
 or injury.
Second,
Linking Words
a big company’s work consists of different types of
jobs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as marketing, HR, accounting and so on. Those companies plan for developing workers through job rotations,
therefore
Linking Words
 sometimes workers have to take
jobs
Use synonyms
 which are not relevant to their interests.
This
Linking Words
 happens a lot in traditional Japanese companies. Even though the company consider total
talent
Use synonyms
 development and management,
however
Linking Words
, office workers feel they do not have the
talent
Use synonyms
 for the job.
This
Linking Words
 mismatch is often happening. Those who
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not their dream come true are not happy. I think the answer is no.
Although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 have to give up their dreams and take roles which are not relevant to their
talent
Use synonyms
, it is truly important to participate in society. Every job is equally crucial as a part of the consist of society.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should be proud of what they are doing at the moment. In conclusion, opportunities for
people
Use synonyms
 who can take a dream work are limited,
however
Linking Words
,
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the world are important and
people
Use synonyms
 should take responsibility for their
jobs
Use synonyms
 with pride.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on reasons and consequences to further develop ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more precise linking words to enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present in the essay.
task achievement
Examples provided, such as sports players and job rotations in Japanese companies, make the argument more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: