IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is this a positive or negative development? Vy

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In
this
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 day and age,
while
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 fossil fuel is the most important
energy
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 source in many places, some countries are now already using alternative
sources
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.
Although
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 there are several drawbacks to
this
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 trend, I still consider it to be a positive
development
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overall
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. On the one hand, there are several disadvantages of the investment in renewable
sources
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 of
energy
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.
Firstly
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,the initial capital required for these energies is substantial.
For example
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, substitute
energy
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 systems
such
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 as solar panels,
wind
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 turbines, and hydroelectric plants need significant spending for infrastructure
development
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 and equipment installation.
Although
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 operating costs may be low once implemented, the initial investment remains a crucial hurdle, especially for countries or regions with limited budgets.
Secondly
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, because of the instability and dependence on natural conditions.
For instance
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, solar and
wind
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energy
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 can not produce a stable electricity supply throughout the year because solar
energy
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 can only generate electricity during daylight hours,
while
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wind
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energy
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 depends on
wind
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 speed.
On the other hand
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, I strongly believe that
this
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 is a positive
development
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 for various reasons.The first reason is that
unlike
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, unlike
show examples
 fossil fuels, renewable
energy
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sources
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 like solar, hydro, and geothermal power generate clean
energy
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 with zero emissions, helping to combat air pollution and climate change.
Therefore
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, human health is improved.
In addition
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, it
also
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 sustainable and will never run out.To exemplify
this
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, solar and
wind
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energy
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 are abundant natural resources that will never be depleted,so they can be maintained for a long time. In conclusion, the shift towards substitute
sources
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 of
energy
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 is a positive
development
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 that can help address environmental, economic, and health concerns
while
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 contributing to long-term sustainability

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay consistently follows a logical structure from start to finish. Some transitions between points could be more seamless.
task achievement
Although the essay does include examples, make sure all examples provided are as specific as possible and directly tied to the arguments being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a conclusion that effectively wraps up the argument.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed the task, considering both positive and negative aspects of the development, which shows a balanced approach.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide specific examples to support the main points, which enhances the argument.
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