IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think about the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicles driver take a test every year. To what extent do

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Nowadays, road accidents are increasing at a high pace. Sometimes they occur
due to
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 natural causes, but more often
due to
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 the carelessness of the driver or the lack of driving skills.
This
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 raises some opinions between people
,
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apply
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 like some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicle drivers Take a
test
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 every year. I will elaborate on it
further
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 in my upcoming paragraphs and give my personal opinion on it.
To begin
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 with, the government have issued many rules and regulations in order to improve road safety. Among these is the driving
test
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. The driving
test
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 is valid for 20 years. In these 20 years, a person goes through many things
such
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 as ageing, weakening of eye sites , slow reflexes, and many more
such
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 physical traits that reduce the driving skills of a person.
Moreover
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, there are some cases recorded from all over the world when humans did not
drive
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 a vehicle for many years and later forgot to
drive
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 or became very bad at it, but the thing is
although
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, they forget to
drive
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 they still have a driver's license.
furthermore
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,
According to
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 a study conducted by the University of California 45% of the accidents that occur in Texas were
due to
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 the Long validity of driving tests as people forget to
drive
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 overtime. In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement that for safety driving
test
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 should be conducted every year as giving a driving
test
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 every year is not practical and is
also
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 time-consuming, but it should definitely be conducted more frequently for better prevention .

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a response to the task. However, it could be more comprehensive in exploring both sides of the argument more equally.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is present and summarizes the writer's opinion, but it could be more decisive and linked clearly to the arguments presented.
task achievement
Consider developing your body paragraphs further to include more detailed support for your points and addressing counterarguments to your position.
coherence and cohesion
Try ensuring smooth transitions between points and paragraphs for a more cohesive read.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets the context well and directly addresses the issue of road safety.
task achievement
The essay includes a specific example from a study, adding credibility to the argument.
task achievement
You effectively raised important issues such as aging and skill forgetting, relevant to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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