IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As a result of tourism, some historical buldings and sites are being damaged beyond repair. What could be done to prevent this?

Nowadays, tourism is leading to adverse damage to historical landmarks and even makes them unrepairable. I believe exploring the causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem can assist in finding a suitable solution to resolve it. vandalizing heritage sites by
tourists
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 could partly account for the destruction of historical sites and buildings. Some
people
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 who
visit
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 these places intentionally damage these buildings and artefacts.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
people
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 write their names or some memorable sentences with sharp stuff on the surface of a wall or a sculpture. Since the historical structures have valuable and unreachable materials, they become unrepairable and after a
while
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, they are destroyed. To remedy
this
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 issue, the government should install CCTV cameras in important historical places and control the
tourists
Use synonyms
' behaviours and activities there.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it should impose heavy penalties on these
people
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. Another reason the historical areas are destroyed is The number of individuals who
visit
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 them at a specific
time
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.
Due to
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 the fact that historically and architecturally buildings are tourist attractions and numerous
people
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visit
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 them together at the same
time
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, these constructs endure heavy loads during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sightseeing.
Therefore
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,
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long
time
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, they will be injured and destroyed. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, these places' responsible should control the crowd and make some timetables for visitors.
to conclude
Linking Words
 Linking Words
Usage
Correct article usage
The usage
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 of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score. , even though
tourists
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' injuries and overcrowds contribute to historical areas
destroyed
Add a missing verb
being destroyed
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.The government and
Use synonyms
tourists
Correct article usage
the tourists
show examples
 responsible can remedy the situation. In my opinion, high punishments and controlling the population of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who
visit
Use synonyms
 a place at a specific
time
Use synonyms
 are steps in the right direction.

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the task. Incorporate more detailed examples and explanations to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on better linking your ideas through logical transitions and include a stronger conclusion.
task achievement
The essay has a clear focus on the issue of tourism damaging historical sites and proposes practical solutions.
coherence cohesion
There's a logical structure in how the problems are identified and solutions proposed, which aids reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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