Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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believe that
competition
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, whether at
work
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, at
school
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and in daily
life
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is good
whereas
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others believe that
people
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should try to cooperate more. So is
competition
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a good thing? In my opinion, yes. On advantage
competition
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might be a good thing is
people
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will try to push them to become a better version of themselves. With that,
people
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will
work
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harder, competing with each other.
For example
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, if I am working in a company in a computer science field and there is another person working in the same company and in the same field, but better than me.
This
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will provide me
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with a
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a
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the
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motivation to improve myself at that person's level.
Hence
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,
competition
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will encourage me to learn different kinds of skills to my advantage.
Furthermore
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,
competition
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could reward you in many different ways depending
whether
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on whether
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at
work
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, at
school
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and
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or
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in daily
life
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.
For instance
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, if you are competing with other students in
school
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,
this
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can improve your
overall
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perfromance
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performance
and teachers will start to notice your improvement and there will be an
improvment
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improvement
to your grade. The same goes for
work
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, especially if you are
comepting
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competing
against high-skilled
people
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, your chances of
salary
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a salary
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might be higher since you will try to learn their approach in the working
life
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. With that being said, you can
as well
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also
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learn what these
people
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do in their daily
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, as
this
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could include
on
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apply
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how they are dealing with real-world challenges, etc. In conclusion,
competition
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provides benefits as
people
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will try to better themselves at
work
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, at
school
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and in daily
life
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.
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Although excessive
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Excessive
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competition
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could lead
some
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to some
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challenges
such
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as stress and anxiety.
Submitted by nihat.suleyman08 on

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task achievement
Ensure to address both sides of the argument equally. The introduction is well-stated, but there is more emphasis on competition while cooperation is not thoroughly discussed.
coherence cohesion
Consider using clear topic sentences to define the main idea in each paragraph and link ideas more clearly between sentences to enhance logical flow.
task achievement
Try to eliminate small errors like spelling mistakes (e.g., 'comepting' should be 'competing') and maintain consistency in the present or past tense usage.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a good and clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion that summarized your view effectively.
supported main points
The use of examples, like the one about competing with a skilled colleague, effectively illustrates your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
The expression of ideas is clear and overall comprehension is good, which makes your main points easy to understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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