Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possi le solutions can you suggest?

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There are several reasons why some individuals tend to do negative things repeatedly after they get out of
prisons
Fix the agreement mistake
prison
show examples
. I think it might happen
due to
Linking Words
the lack of
rehabilitation
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such
Linking Words
as education or
job
Use synonyms
training and
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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discrimination
Use synonyms
from
society
Use synonyms
, but there are
also
Linking Words
some solutions to reduce their intention to commit
crimes
Use synonyms
again. Not getting adequate soft skills or hard skills training in their
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
session can make the prisoners unprepared to face the outside world after they get released from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison.
This
Linking Words
is influenced by the fact that some prisons focus on the punishment rather than the
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
. Prisoners will find it difficult to keep up with current developments related to work or education in the future.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
situation, it will be a tough challenge for them to adapt
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
society
Use synonyms
and lead them to feel hopeless.
For example
Linking Words
, they can not afford a proper
job
Use synonyms
to improve their financial status, resulting in them being stressed and ultimately choosing shortcuts to steal or rob from other people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals always face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stigma or
discrimination
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from
society
Use synonyms
that can trigger them to feel excluded from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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itself.
This
Linking Words
reason is interrelated with the previous reason which will affect not only their mental health but
also
Linking Words
their inability to develop their capabilities to be a better person. Some proposed solutions to reduce the occurrence of repeated
crimes
Use synonyms
are the governments need to provide proper training
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
activities and
job
Use synonyms
opportunities for the ex-prisoners. It will help them to develop their capabilities in
society
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, after they can make sure the ex-prisoners are mentally ready and have sufficient knowledge and skills, they
also
Linking Words
need to reduce the
discrimination
Use synonyms
by doing social campaigns to educate
society
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that the ex-prisoners have the right to have a better life so they will not repeat
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In conclusion,
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
incidence of repeat
crimes
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
mainly because of the lack of
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prisoners and
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
discrimination
Use synonyms
in
society
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals may not commit
crimes
Use synonyms
again if
society
Use synonyms
can accept them as human and the government can facilitate them with good
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
and
job
Use synonyms
opportunities before they leave prison.
Submitted by rhisaaidilla on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay, consider organizing your arguments more clearly by directly linking each cause to its proposed solution within the same paragraph. This will improve readability and show a stronger link between problems and solutions.
task achievement
Try to include more varied examples or specific case studies that support your claims about rehabilitation and societal discrimination to provide stronger evidence for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, make sure to briefly restate the main points with a stronger emphasis on the suggested solutions, which will provide better closure to your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly identified and explained the main causes of recidivism and provided solutions, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your use of complex sentence structures contributes positively to the essay's overall fluency and readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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