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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows how biofeul called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevants.

The diagram below shows how biofeul called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevants.
#biofeul #ethanol #summarise #information #features #comparisions #relevants
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The diagram gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the process of
ethanol
Use synonyms
 production.
Overall
Linking Words
,
ethanol
Use synonyms
 is made through a cyclical process of nine stages that begins with
harvesting
Add an article
the harvesting
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 of plants and trees in order to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to produce
sugars
Use synonyms
 in the following steps
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and ends with the production of
ethanol
Use synonyms
 from special microbes that feed on
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
sugars
Use synonyms
. As the
feul
Correct your spelling
fuel
 will be used in various transportations like cars, trucks, and
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
In
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 the beginning the trees produce the energy required for their growth from sunlight and CO2
presents
Replace the word
present
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 in the atmosphere. When they reach the proper length they will
ne
Correct your spelling
be
 harvested by farmers and transported into a machine where the pre-processing phase starts, as they are crushed and cellulose is produced. The collected cellulose is
then
Linking Words
undergo processing
Wrong verb form
processed
show examples
 in
factory
Add an article
a factory
the factory
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 where it
turned
Add a missing verb
is turned
show examples
 into
sugars
Use synonyms
. In the final stage, the
sugars
Use synonyms
 produced by the previous stage
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 considered the nutrients which
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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special microbes feed on. These microbes in return
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
amount
Add an article
an amount
the amount
show examples
 of
ethanol
Use synonyms
 which is the
biofeul
Correct your spelling
biofuel
that is
Linking Words
 used in various vehicles. When
ethanol
Use synonyms
 feul is burned
insides
Replace the word
inside
show examples
 vehicles
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
produced
Wrong verb form
produces
show examples
 CO2 which is exhaled into the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 again and the cycle
repeated
Wrong verb form
repeats
show examples
 itself where that CO2 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used again by plants as energy.
Submitted by ruaa.fatoohi on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ethanol, sugars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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