"In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, many individuals
alive
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are alive
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longer than past,
people
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that,
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
proportion
occurs
Verb problem
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
for
government
Use synonyms
and others
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
older humankind
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
nation
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the nation
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, In my view,
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
of
population
Use synonyms
can
marit
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outweigh the problems. Some
people
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argue that
,
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apply
show examples
over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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population
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some bad
effect
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effects
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. For
Instent
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instance
, The
government
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able to provide shelters for their citizens and other daily necessary items,
for example
Linking Words
, Chaina have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
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of the
bigest
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biggest
show examples
density
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
and it’s
create
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creates
show examples
cause
Correct article usage
a cause
show examples
for
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, so, they
makes
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make
show examples
rules for having
one
Use synonyms
child
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
limit
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.Education
Use synonyms
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the important factors in our life. so that,
huge
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a huge
the huge
show examples
amount of peoples
country
Use synonyms
faced a vital problem with uneducation
peoples
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people
show examples
.
Consequnetly
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Consequently
,
illutrate
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illustrate
illiterate
persons
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people
show examples
can’t get any jobs and
to
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apply
show examples
go for criminal activities.They act crime and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
illegal works. For that,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
focused on clean
criminal
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criminals
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rather than economics.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, older individuals play a key role
for
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in
show examples
the
country
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. To illustrate,
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
name
Replace the word
named
show examples
Bangladesh have over
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
,
supply skill
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supplying skilled
show examples
workers for the
world’s
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world
show examples
and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
forgein
Correct your spelling
foreign
dollars
by
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from
show examples
workers.
It’s
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
countrys
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country
country's
countries
forgign
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find
reserve
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reserves
show examples
and how the
country
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
with
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
exchanges,
beside
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besides
show examples
that, elder
people
Use synonyms
pay taxes and ability to invest in to
countrys
Correct your spelling
countries
. so,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can look over
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
without headache. In
conclued
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
longer can impact
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
country
Use synonyms
. The various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
facilities
gets
Verb problem
are
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
elder
people
Use synonyms
by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, main points, and conclusion. This helps improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully to provide a comprehensive response to the task. Adding depth to your arguments will enhance clarity and effectiveness.
task achievement
Provide clear and specific examples to support your main ideas. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and relevant.
task achievement
You have included both viewpoints regarding the benefits and challenges of an ageing population, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear attempt to provide a conclusion that summarizes your views on the topic, reflecting your personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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