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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?

#tasks #home #work #robots #development
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In the modern era, technology is more and more developing to help improve people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Especially, artificial intelligence replaces
humans
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 in some jobs
..
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.
...
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Although
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 some
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
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 need to be addressed, I think
this
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 development is mostly beneficial. There are many benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
robots
Use synonyms
 in life.
Firstly
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, people will have more time to spend on other aspects of life because
robots
Use synonyms
 will help you do housework.
For example
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, my parents no longer have to spend time cooking and cleaning, so they can focus on
Correct pronoun usage
their career
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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.
Secondly
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,
robots
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 complete repetitive tasks quicker and more accurately, incorporating
robots
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 into the workforce will result in higher productivity.
Additional
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Additionally
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, technology will help that country become richer by producing goods faster.
As a result
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, clothing, cooked, or technological devices will be available to
humans
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 at a cheaper cost.
However
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,
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of
robots
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 will bring serious consequences.
Robots
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 increase
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate because it more exactly
than
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to
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humans
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.
For example
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, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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production automation, many
factory
Change to a plural noun
factories
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 will prioritize the use of automatic technology. Another consequence is that the dependency on
robots
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 will cause a lack of survival skills.
For example
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, if
robots
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 do all the chores for people, future generations will lack necessary skills like cooking, doing laundry, or cleaning houses.
This
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 lack of skills means
humans
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 in the future will
dependent
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be dependent
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 on
robots
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. In conclusion,
although
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 I have to admit that heavy dependence on
robots
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 has certain serious implications, moderate use of
robots
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 to help with chores and repetitive tasks at work faster.
This
Linking Words
 is a positive development.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity and precision in expressing ideas. Work on improving sentence structures to convey your thoughts more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the linkage between paragraphs for smoother transitions. Consider using linking words or transitional phrases more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the one about your parents, to support your points.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both positive and negative aspects of the topic, offering a balanced perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Humanoid
  • Machine learning
  • Task allocation
  • Operational costs
  • Manual labor
  • Disruptive technology
  • Ergonomics
  • Unemployment
  • Cybersecurity
  • Technological singularity
  • Redundant workforce
  • Innovation
  • Ethical considerations
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