IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

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In recent times,
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 more than in the past.
This
Linking Words
 is because travelling has become more affordable than in the past because of the advancement of air
travel
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. The advantages of travelling are
people
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 can see the unseen and know the unknown, and it expands their
outlook
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 and
knowledge
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. These days
people
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travel
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 more than in the past because air
travel
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 has become more advanced than before. There are numerous airlines throughout the
world
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, which allow
people
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 to
travel
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different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
 countries and places at affordable prices. These facilities make travelling easier and encourage individuals to
travel
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different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
parts
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 of the
world
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Malaysian Airlines
carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
 passengers in one flight
with
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for
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 just 250 US dollars, which is very cost-effective and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
facilitates passengers to
travel
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various
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to various
show examples
parts
Use synonyms
 of the
world
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 at a cheap rate.
People
Use synonyms
 can see the unseen and know the unknown with the help of travelling. It allows travellers to explore various unexplored
parts
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 of the
world
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, which is thrilling and exciting.
In addition
Linking Words
, travelling helps
people
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 to expand their
knowledge
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 and
outlook
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. It allows
people
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 to witness different
parts
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 of the
world
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 and obtain
knowledge
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 and experiences about several countries, cultures,
people
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 and lifestyles.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2019, in an interview
of
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with
show examples
 National Geographic channel, many tourists revealed that they believe in exploring the
world
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 because it allows them to learn about the
world
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 and broadens their
outlook
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 and experiences. In conclusion,
people
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travel
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 because travelling
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 much
cheap
Correct word choice
cheaper
show examples
 than before with the advancement of airlines. Travelling helps individuals to explore the unknown and unseen and enhances their
outlook
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 and
knowledge
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the focus of the essay. However, consider rephrasing the thesis statement to provide a stronger roadmap for your points.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are linked logically, some transitions between sentences could be improved for better flow. For example, consider using more varied linking phrases.
task achievement
The conclusion summarizes the key points well, but it could be strengthened by rephrasing the thesis statement as a final reflection on the significance of travel.
task achievement
You effectively explained the reasons for increased travel with clear examples, such as the affordability of airline tickets, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
What to do next:
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