IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

#tourism #benefit #places #time #concern #impact #inhabitants #environment
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Without a doubt, foreign tourists can bring a wide range of benefits to a
country
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 in terms of money circulation and economic growth. The growth rate of
tourism
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 often comes as harmful
of
Change preposition
to
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 local inhabitants and the
ecosystem
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.
While
Linking Words
 international
tourism
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 can bring a lot of merits to a
country
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, the disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as creating jobs and
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
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 economy, can outweigh the advantages in the aspects of destroying the environment. Beginning with
meritorious
Correct article usage
the meritorious
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 side, it is undeniable that international
tourism
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 is a key to
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
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 economic growth and financial fluid in a
country
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, contributing to people accessing
employments
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employment
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 opportunities and boosting money fluid. To explain,
tourist
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tourists
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 prompt foundation to local businesses,
hotel
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hotels
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, and resorts, as it directory impact on the economy.
For example
Linking Words
, In Singapore,
tourism
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 often
shape
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shapes
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improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 of infrastructure, allowing the betterment in terms of attraction and citizens.
In addition
Linking Words
, international
tourism
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 is without a doubt the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
key to
exchange
Wrong verb form
exchanging
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 culture, making people from different
region
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regions
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to
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apply
show examples
share
tradition
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traditions
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 and languages.
However
Linking Words
, the
drawback
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drawbacks
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
tourist
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tourists
show examples
 can outweigh the advantages.
This
Linking Words
 is because tourists play
increasingly
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an increasingly
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 significant role in our society, leading to
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroying
show examples
Use synonyms
ecosystem
Change the noun form
ecosystems
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as habitats, culture, and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. To exemplify, the project by
entrepreneur
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entrepreneurs
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 in some
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country
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countries
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 deforest many tons of trees to construct hotels and resorts for
tourism
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, destroying local inhabitants and
Use synonyms
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, environmental
damaged
Replace the word
damage
show examples
Add a missing verb
is cause
show examples
cause
Correct your spelling
caused
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 by increased
tourism
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, as it directly
effect
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effects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 environment. After having thoroughly considered the given argument,
the
Correct pronoun usage
I the
show examples
tourism
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 is
double-edged
Add an article
a double-edged
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 sword.
Although
Linking Words
tourism
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 is a cornerstone of economic-driven aspects, like offering employment opportunities and fostering cultural exchange, it can result in negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on their
ecosystem
Use synonyms
 in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 run.
Submitted by cn.nichakarn on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point logically flows from one to another to help the reader follow your argument more easily. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, consider tightening your thesis statement to make your position clearer from the start.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and analysis to fully develop each point. Make sure that each argument is balanced and details how each side of the perspective impacts various stakeholders.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that are directly relevant to the main points to enhance your argument's strength. Make these examples more detailed to show a stronger understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well and guide the reader.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of international tourism, acknowledging both sides of the argument. This shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
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