IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart provides information about how people who are not employed spent their day in the United Kingdom
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, is appreciated that depending on the gender and the
time
Use synonyms
 of the day, the
time
Use synonyms
 employed on different activities varies. In the mornings, is noticeable that nearly half of the
time
Use synonyms
 that
women
Use synonyms
 have was used for housework,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 spend less than half of it.
However
Linking Words
, males rather spend their mornings trying to find a job or shopping, up to 22% and 20%, respectively. There is a huge difference between the hours that both genders spend gardening, as
men
Use synonyms
 do it 7 times more than
women
Use synonyms
. In the afternoons, 8% of males go on walks,
while
Linking Words
 only 2% of females choose
this
Linking Words
 option.
In addition
Linking Words
, is
also
Linking Words
 shocking that
men
Use synonyms
 spend 3 times more
time
Use synonyms
 drinking alcohol than
women
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 year in the UK there was a great disparity between genders in the amount of hours that unemployed.
Men
Use synonyms
 were the ones who spent more
time
Use synonyms
 doing sports and finding new occupations, and
women
Use synonyms
 had to take care of their houses and families as most of their activities were related to them.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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