In some countries the average wight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you risithink are the causes if these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Firstly
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, I want to mention that the level of excess weight has increased all over the world in recent years, and there are several reasons for
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. The main reason for
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is the difference in the population's diets,
for example
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, when we compare the physical condition of the community in the past and now, we can see a significant difference in the weight gain of the public over the past years. I can
also
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point out that in recent years society
have
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has
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become lazier, and at the moment most of the products we consume are not completely natural. Before
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, I talked about the fact that the community can't eat fresh and natural products 100%, but
i
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I
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want to add that
nation
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the nation
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compared to the past has become lazier and doesn't want to improve their lives,
for example
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only a few per cent of the population in the world exercise every day but most society who don't exercise put their lives at risk. To fix
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situation I think most people lack the motivation and skill to start keeping a diet of healthy foods and setting aside a few hours every day for exercise. If
community
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the community
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follow a strict diet, eating only healthy foods without any fast foods and doing sports every day,
then
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people can reduce the number of population with obesity
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, mention certain common unhealthy foods or specific exercises.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one and maintains a clear focus.
coherence and cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize your arguments or provide a final opinion.
task achievement
You have correctly identified some causes of weight gain, such as changes in diet and lifestyle.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task: causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You have made an effort to explain your points, which supports the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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