In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message
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children
are always informed in some cultures that they can get anything if they work hard . There are merits and demerits to providing the message to them. I have given details below.
Firstly
, by giving such
messages to children
, they get motivation and inspiration. In other words
, they believe in themselves and such
confidence may support them to do anything in their lives. This
is because of mental support and cooperation by the parents
to relax them with healthy surroundings.
Secondly
, children
get positivity in order to overcome any stress. Since the competition in different stages of life is increasing day by day, some people always emphasize their sons or daughters become tough and win any situation. Therefore
, these parents
always keep pushing a child
to do great things. For example
, many parents
in India have goals to see their child
study at the best national institute which is extremely competitive and become successful in future, thus
, from childhood, they try hard to keep saying them in order to achieve this
goal.
On the other hand
, there are also
some negative impacts if children
are pushing too much by telling them repeatedly the same message. Children
sometimes come under pressure which creates tremendous health problems. As a result
, this
situation leads them to adopt some bad habits which may significantly destroy their entire life. For instance
, as per research conducted by the University of Gujarat in the year 2023, some students started taking drugs at the age of 11 years due to
too much expectation from their parents
to meet their future goals.
In conclusion, it is obvious that a child
may build confidence and positivity if we often tell them to work hard which will bring success but it may harm to child
's health and create negative resultsSubmitted by ahv on
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task achievement
Expand on certain points for clarity and add more nuanced arguments. For instance, while you've provided a solid example about Indian parents, offering a broader perspective or more examples from different cultures can enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically. Although the essay is generally well-structured, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, setting a clear context at the beginning and summarizing effectively at the end.
task achievement
You've effectively presented both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view. This is a strong approach to addressing the essay's task.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the study conducted by the University of Gujarat, strengthens your arguments and makes them more compelling.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...