IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 
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The line graph illustrates the
informationa
Correct your spelling
information
 about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
read
Add a missing verb
were read
show examples
 by
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 at Burnaby Public
Liabrary
Correct your spelling
Library
 between 2011 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that
read
Add a missing verb
are read
show examples
 by men has experienced an upward trend over the given period.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that
read
Add a missing verb
were read
show examples
 by
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 has grown between 2011 and 2013, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that
read
Add a missing verb
were read
show examples
 by
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 have dropped in 2014. Looking at the line graph more closely, one can see that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
read by
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 has increased by almost 1000 from the middle of 2000 and 4000 in 2011 to nearly 4000 in 2012 and,
this
Linking Words
 has grown by almost 6000 from 2012 to closely 10000 in 2013 and, it has
heat
Change the verb form
heated
show examples
 the peak at 14000 in 2014.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that
read
Add a missing verb
are read
show examples
 by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 has increased by
closely
Change the word
close
show examples
7000
Change preposition
to 7000
show examples
 between 2011 and 2013.
However
Linking Words
, it has experienced a downward trend at almost 7000 in 2014. In conclusion, all genders
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 grown over the 3-year.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, only the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that
read
Add a missing verb
are read
show examples
ny
Correct your spelling
by
 women
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased in 2014.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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