Some believe parents and teachers should supervise children very closely, while others think children should have freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is an argument about whether

children

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should be under close supervision or have

freedom

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. Some

parents

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and educators believe that

children

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should be closely monitored and controlled. I agree with others who argue that kids should have

freedom

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. On the one hand, some say supervision of kids is necessary to ensure that

children

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are safe, well-being and disciplined .

This

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could include monitoring their activities, setting boundaries, and rules and providing guidance to help

children

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make responsible decisions.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

approach may

also

Linking Words

help to instil values and shape the character.

For example

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, when

children

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want to make their

friends

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parents

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help them by expressing their experiences, do’s and don’ts and give notice ,they likely prevent the negative effects of bad

friends

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, keeping

children

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mentally and socially safe.

This

Linking Words

is because psychologists say that

friends

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may significantly influence behaviour and morals,

besides

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children

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probably look to

friends

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as role models.

Therefore

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parents

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should keep an eye on their

children

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friends

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On the other hand

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, there is almost no doubt that

freedom

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within the family and school is an important issue that affects all aspects of an individual's personal and social

children

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's life. People have different views on

freedom

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based on their upbringing, surroundings, and education .Within the family and school,

freedom

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plays a crucial role in the growth and development of individuals and helps them develop the confidence and ability to express their ideas and beliefs effectively.

For example

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, being allowed to make decisions and take risks in a supportive environment can help

children

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develop a sense of competence and independence.

Additionally

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, having the

freedom

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to explore their own interests and develop their talents can

also

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boost their self-esteem and self-confidence. In short, allowing

children

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to have

freedom

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in their surroundings can contribute to building their self-confidence and promoting personal growth. In conclusion,

although

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some people believe that supervision of

children

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is necessary by schools and

parents

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, in my opinion, the

freedom

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to express themselves and act is more important for

children

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. Having

this

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freedom

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can lead to positive outcomes

such

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as increased self-confidence, personal development, and independence in

children

Use synonyms

ghorabibitaSun Sep 08 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop your arguments more fully to better support your main points. This can involve including more specific examples and elaboration.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next to enhance the overall coherence.

general

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. A little more attention to detail can polish your writing.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

You provide a balanced discussion of both views and give your own opinion clearly in the conclusion.

task achievement

Your writing shows a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant examples to illustrate your points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic:Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 65 can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of international organization rather than each national government. Do you agree or disagree?