In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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The famous proverb ' Health is wealth" signifies the importance of health in one's life. Lately, the average weight of
people
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is rising significantly in some countries
along with
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a decrease in mind and body fitness. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will shed light on the factors responsible for
this
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as well as
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the steps which should be undertaken by the
government
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and the masses to tackle it. The primary reasons for
a
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the
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rising body weight of the masses and reduction in physical health are junk
food
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and a sedentary
lifestyle
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. First and foremost, owing to the advancement in technology
majority
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of the
people
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have easy access to junk
food
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. Not only that but
also
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,
the
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but the
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majority
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of the
people
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who are working have a busy schedule which makes it difficult for them to cook healthy meals at home. So, they prefer getting the
food
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from outside as it is much more convenient.
In addition
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, the sedentary
lifestyle
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of the
majority
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of individuals is another major factor. To clarify,
people
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in the past years used to do things differently
such
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as
,
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apply
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using bicycles to travel to work, which used to be their physical activity.
However
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, it is not very common these days because the
majority
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of beings own a car. On top of that, a large number of humans work 9-5 jobs which require them to sit for long hours and there is less movement which causes them to gain weight more easily.
Thus
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, fast
food
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and an Inactive
lifestyle
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are the root causes of the issue.
On the other hand
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, a viable approach to tackle the issue is to aware humans of the side effects of unhealthy lifestyles and obesity. The
government
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and the masses can run campaigns and workshops to educate the population about making healthy choices. To elaborate,
people
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can be taught to choose healthy options if they are ordering
food
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from outside, and they can learn to prioritise baked
food
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instead
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of deep-fried items.
Additionally
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, the
government
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can build gyms or sports centres in every suburb to make it easy for all individuals to indulge in any form of physical activity.
For instance
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, a person working in a corporate office will not have much time to go to a gym which is usually far from home.
Therefore
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, building a gym in the suburbs can make it accessible for them to stay fit.
To conclude
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, eating outside
food
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and a passive
lifestyle
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are the major reasons for
people
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to become heavier and unfit. The best approach to deal with it is to educate
people
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about its detrimental effects on the human body and for the
government
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to construct fitness centres in each suburb.
Submitted by taliyarifat on

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task response
Make your conclusion more concise and align it closely with the points discussed. This can bolster the clarity and impact of your final paragraph.
coherence
Although your essay is well-structured, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect ideas and enhance flow.
task response
Incorporate more specific examples, particularly about how individuals can engage in physical activities despite a busy lifestyle.
cohesion
The essay presents clear paragraphs that effectively introduce and elaborate on specific points.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view of the causes of obesity and offer reasonable solutions, achieving a well-rounded discussion.
coherence
The essay maintains a logical flow from introduction through to conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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