The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. A
The map gives information about data opened a public
park
in 1920 and the same Use synonyms
park
present
Use synonyms
Overall
,there are significant changes,over a Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
hundred four year
period,from 1920 to today.Add a hyphen
hundred-four-year
However
, Linking Words
eldon
street and Change the capitalization
Eldon
rose garden
Correct your spelling
Rose Garden
has been
remained.
Now, turning to the details in 1920,Arnold Wrong verb form
have
avenue
has Capitalize word
Avenue
been
two entrances leading in opposite directions:Unnecessary verb
apply
one
to the north and Use synonyms
other
to the south.Correct article usage
the other
Fountain
was located in the Correct article usage
The fountain
park
center which was surrounded Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
residence
for children and parents but now it Fix the agreement mistake
residences
is modifies
Change the verb form
is modified
to
Change preposition
into
rose
garden.Add an article
the rose
a rose
West
Correct article usage
The west
side
of Use synonyms
water
feature placed Correct article usage
the water
major
stage for musicians to sing,Correct article usage
a major
however
, in present stage isLinking Words
demolish
and Wrong verb form
demolished
turn
into Wrong verb form
turned
amphitheatre
for concerts.
Rode gardens were set up in three locations,two were located on either Add an article
the amphitheatre
an amphitheatre
side
of the Use synonyms
musicians
stage,Change to a genitive case
musician's
musicians'
one
of them which was in Use synonyms
northwest
Add an article
the northwest
has been
remained,Wrong verb form
,
while
the others Linking Words
is
knocked down and replaced Wrong verb form
were
to
Change preposition
with
fountain
.Add an article
the fountain
a fountain
Similiarly
seats were placed in the corners of the area,on the west Correct your spelling
Similarly
side
near two entrances,and Use synonyms
one
was positioned on the east Use synonyms
side
are shifts around Use synonyms
rose
garden.Add an article
the rose
Pond
for water plants Correct article usage
A pond
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
play
area for Add an article
a play
childrens
.Correct your spelling
children
Likewise
next to Linking Words
entrance
existed Correct article usage
the entrance
Correct article usage
a classhouse
classhouse
but nowadays it Correct your spelling
glasshouse
class house
is changes
to Change the verb form
is changed
is changing
water
Add an article
the water
a water
feature
.On the
Fix the agreement mistake
features
eastern
Add an article
the eastern
side
of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
park
Correct article usage
the park
construct
Change the verb form
constructs
underground
car Correct article usage
an underground
park
entrance.Use synonyms
Submitted by ansa13 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly with well-defined paragraphs. Begin with an introduction, then describe past features, followed by present features, and conclude.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'on the other hand'. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples where possible. For example, describe changes in more detail or provide specific locations within the park.
task achievement
Your opening statement gives a clear overview of the changes that have occurred in the park over time.
task achievement
You have accurately described the key changes, such as the transformation of the fountain and the addition of an amphitheatre.
coherence cohesion
The use of location directions and historical comparisons is effective in conveying the changes to the park.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.