In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is often observed that undergraduates
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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live at
house
Add an article
the house
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with family
while
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they study.
In contrast
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, some university
entrance
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enter
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to
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apply
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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in different cities and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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live without their families. There are several pros and cons with both aspects,
I
Correct word choice
but I
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think the advantages of attending undergraduate school in another area outweigh the disadvantages. In
this
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essay, I will mention about advantages and disadvantages of the two sides.
To begin
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with, there are some people studying students should be encouraged to concentrate on their study by living
together with
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family.
Firstly
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, if
acceptance
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accepted
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at universities spend their time
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in at
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at
Correct your spelling
an
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apartment with their parents,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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need
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need to
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think about nothing but studying.
For example
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, in most cases, they do not purchase ingredients for their breakfast. lunch, or dining.
Also
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, they do not worry about paying for
rental
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the rental
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cost of a house. It can
stray
Verb problem
distract
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them from problems regardless of their studying.
In other words
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, they can concentrate on their objective without interruption of other factors.
On the other hand
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, Studying people in another country could improve their skills in a wide range of
life
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.
First
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First,
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of foremost, Many
admission
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admissions
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who live away from their homes, they
are embark
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embark
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on their independent lives. It means that they have to deal with not only their studying but
also
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many other problems
such
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as the cost of living.
Furthermore
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, they might have a part-time job and earn money. It is difficult to concentrate only on their studying but it allows them to tackle many things which they need for human
life
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.
Consequently
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, they can broaden their horizons by experiencing many things in their sole
life
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. In conclusion, even though, there are some benefits of staying home with their household, buy studying in other countries could improve their skills in a wide range of
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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, in light of
this
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evidence, It is crystal clear that living away from home and broadening their horizons outweigh the formal view.
Submitted by imsy1101 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning more smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to reinforce your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of arguments, ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads to the next. Connecting ideas will enhance your overall coherence.
task achievement
Focus on elaborating on each idea more clearly to provide a more comprehensive understanding of your main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the topic and your viewpoint, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living at home versus away from home during university, thus providing a complete response to the question.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is present, summarizing the arguments made and reinforcing your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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