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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In
Correct article usage
the contemporery
show examples
contemporery
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 world, a group of
individuals
Use synonyms
 believe that educated
people
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,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and
engeenrs
Correct your spelling
engineers
, should be required to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where
tey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 did their training,
while
Linking Words
 others believe they have free to choose
Use synonyms
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 in another
country
Use synonyms
 if they wish.
This
Linking Words
assay
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
 will
discouss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both views and Express my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some
people
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 firmly believe that professionals should stay
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 where they did their training. first of all, recently numerous
individuals
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making
Wrong verb form
have gotten
show examples
 their degree in
differant
Correct your spelling
different
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
than
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 they
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
.
Moreover
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, they
are consume
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consume
show examples
varies
Replace the word
various
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 sources
Linking Words
Change preposition
in this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 countries, and after
thatthey
Correct your spelling
that they
are leaving
Verb problem
leave
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, educated
people
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 are
backbone
Add an article
the backbone
show examples
 of the
country
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, and when
individuals
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work
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different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 after their education
this
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 will
negatifly
Correct your spelling
negatively
effect
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affect
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
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 economy which was made
their
Change preposition
by their
show examples
 degree.
Furthermore
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,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 financial drawbaks
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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have a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 reputation. For
this
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 purpose,
individuals
Use synonyms
 could remain 2 years after their training, and it could be helpful to
economy
Add an article
the economy
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, a
noticiable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 number of
people
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 think
people
Use synonyms
 have liberty, so they can choose
weherever
Correct your spelling
wherever
 they want to
work
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. Recently, all humans
are protecting
Wrong verb form
have been protected
show examples
 by law. Namely, anyone can not force someone to do something.
Change preposition
In Additionall
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Additionall
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, maybe professionals have
a
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apply
show examples
better
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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country
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, research
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that a lot of
Use synonyms
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 have
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
expenduture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 science.
As a consequence
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,
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 should find
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
benefficaly
Correct your spelling
beneficial
beneficially
 places to
make
Verb problem
do
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 experiments.
Conclusion
In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, some
people
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 consider professionals should
continio
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continue
continuo
 their
work
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 life in the
country
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 where did their degree,
wherease
Correct your spelling
whereas
 others believe that
individuals
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 should be free to
work
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 in another
country
Use synonyms
 they want. In my opinion after the training
individuals
Use synonyms
 may stay 2 years in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they did their training, and they can be a good part of the economy.

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language
Try to improve spelling and grammar accuracy to enhance your essay readability. For instance, words like "contemporery," "enganers," and "negatifly" should be "contemporary," "engineers," and "negatively," respectively.
task achievement
Using more specific examples will make your argument stronger and more convincing. Try to include data or specific case studies wherever possible.
coherence
Expand on your ideas for better clarity—some ideas could be developed further.
cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph strongly links back to the main thesis, enhancing the cohesion within your essay.
task achievement
Clearly discusses both views on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence
Introduction and conclusion are both present and serve their purpose well, framing the essay effectively.
coherence
The logical structure of the essay is preserved, with distinct paragraphs for each point of view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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