Some people spend a lot of money on sports and cultural events. Is it good or bad? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Spending much
money
on Use synonyms
sports
and cultural events contains beneficial things because it Use synonyms
is be
able to encourage economic growth. Change the verb form
is
This
essay will examine the Linking Words
reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
should appreciate these developments.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, any event both in Linking Words
sports
and culture needs Use synonyms
highly
cost Replace the word
high
in
every single occasion. Change preposition
on
For example
, a Linking Words
sports
match like football can not be arranged, if it does not be supported by some Use synonyms
people
who invest their Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
on
it. Change preposition
in
That is
why Linking Words
people
should spend their Use synonyms
money
to obtain tickets before they Use synonyms
are enjoying
football matches in a stadium. Wrong verb form
enjoy
This
not only gains advantages for the advanced Linking Words
sports
itselfUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
can be a positive development for Linking Words
country
because every ticket must contain tax billing.
The same logic applies to cultural events as well. Add an article
the country
For instance
, if we are asked to pay in order to Linking Words
attending
an art gallery or museum, we are not merely consuming the space or just enjoying artworks. We have Change the verb
attend
also
unconsciously contributed to the country where the exhibition Linking Words
run
Correct subject-verb agreement
runs
on
.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
people
should Use synonyms
more
aware Add a missing verb
be more
with
the immense power behind the Change preposition
of
money
they are supposed to pay for, either in Use synonyms
sports
or cultural events. I would like to suggest that it is fully worthy because by doing so Use synonyms
people
have showcased their care to enhance economic matters in the country.Use synonyms
Submitted by alaika
on
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Grammar
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. For instance, 'if it does not be supported' should be 'if it is not supported.'
Content Development
Provide a clearer link between how spending money on events leads to economic benefits. Expand on how this spending translates into broader economic growth.
Introduction
The essay clearly introduces the topic and presents a stance, outlining the economic benefits of spending on sports and cultural events.
Examples
Relevant examples are provided, illustrating the benefits of spending on sports and cultural events, such as supporting infrastructure and tax revenues.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively reinforces the main argument and provides a suggestion for future action, encouraging readers to view spending as a positive contribution.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite