some people think that competition at work, school and in daliy life is a good thing, others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather competing against each other. discuss and give opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #daliy #life

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

ome

Correct your spelling

some

people assert that

competitiveness

Use synonyms

is a positive element in leading a life,

whereas

Linking Words

others contend that people should prioritize cooperation over competition in society.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and conclude with my personal viewpoint.

To begin

Linking Words

with, one compelling argument supporting the former is that highly competitive environments promote

further

Linking Words

innovation in society. To illustrate,

such

Linking Words

challenging environments drive individuals and groups to pursue immediate tangible results.

For example

Linking Words

, several international car companies in Japan,

such

Linking Words

as Toyota, Honda, and Nissan, used to be domestic businesses. Now, they are international counterparts in the industry, striving not to fall behind one another.

As a result

Linking Words

, the

competitiveness

Use synonyms

within the industry has generated the state-of-the-art technology necessary to manufacture brand-new vehicles.

In contrast

Linking Words

, one key proposal highlighting the latter perspective is that cooperative

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

plays a pivotal role in fostering teamwork and boosting

productivity

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because

such

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

encourages individuals to develop mutual respect, leading to an increase in social interactions among peers.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the dynamics of these interactions can offer more opportunities to exchange opinions, transforming it into an efficient environment for employees.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the rise in communication may be linked to an improvement in

productivity

Use synonyms

since it can reduce misunderstandings regarding job responsibilities.

Hence

Linking Words

, cooperation may effectively boost

productivity

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

competitiveness

Use synonyms

promotes

further

Linking Words

development in technology, cooperation enhances teamwork and

productivity

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, competitive situations put excessive pressure on individuals, potentially leading to mental health issues in the extended term. Considering

this

Linking Words

viewpoint, cooperative actions outweigh the benefits of

competitiveness

Use synonyms

Submitted by kurosaku5857 on Mon Jan 06 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that examples are more varied and not confined to one industry. This can enhance the depth of discussion.

task achievement

Consider elaborating more on your personal viewpoint in the conclusion for a stronger finish.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view of both competition and cooperation, clearly outlining each perspective.

coherence cohesion

Logical progression and smooth transition between ideas make the argument easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively capture the main points and provide a solid structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal life. Does the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.
It is often believed that taking risks may be beneficial to people in their professional as well as personal lives. Although this is not always advantageous, the ability of an individual to take the right chances at the right moments may significantly determine their life trajectory. In this essay, I will weigh the pros against the cons of such a belief system.
7
band
It is inevitable that as technology develops, cultures must be lost. Technology and traditions are incompatible- you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the light of technology, cultural preservation has become a persistent problem. Some people say that it is impossible to both develop technology and preserve traditions at the same time. Although this idea makes sense at some points, I believe that the advancement of technology benefits traditional conservation more than harms it.
7.5
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
People have different abilities in different fields. Some populations hold the view that everybody has an intrinsic ability in a specific field, such as sports or music, while others argue that every child can be a sportsperson or musician if they are taught. In this essay, I will explore both sides and give my opinion.
6
band
it is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
The question of whether it is important for society to take risks not only in their professional but also personal lives sparked considerable debate among experts. In my view, the advantages of taking risks significantly outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computer technology in education and give your opinion.
It is widely recognized that technology has revolutionized various aspects of modern life, and one notable transformation is the increasing integration of computers into the educational landscape. While I acknowledge the potential benefits of this approach, it’s essential to delve into both the advantages and disadvantages of machinery in education.

some people think that competition at work, school and in daliy life is a good thing, others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather competing against each other. discuss and give opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal life. Does the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.

It is inevitable that as technology develops, cultures must be lost. Technology and traditions are incompatible- you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

it is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computer technology in education and give your opinion.