In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?
The public in various countries has different perspectives about their accommodations. A group of populations in some countries think that living in their own residential area
instead
of renting them is the crucial factor. Linking Words
This
essay discusses Linking Words
this
trend reason; Linking Words
additionally
, in my personal view, Linking Words
this
is a positive development owing to the fact that in Linking Words
this
situation people have a peaceful region that they can change without any problem.
The main cause of having own houses is that in some countries the economy is really poor, so when people have their own accommodation, they do not need to spend too much money on renting. Linking Words
for example
, in Tehran, the capital city of Iran, if citizens have their own houses, they can live in the region that they like Linking Words
.
Correct your spelling
while
while
if they rent one, they must pay extra money every year to live in the house that they rent Linking Words
due to
the fact that Iranian's economy is in an adverse situation.
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In addition
, when inhabitants have their own residential area, they know that they do not change the place which radiates peace of mind and helps them to have to relaxing time . Linking Words
Furthermore
, Homeownership creates a chance for the community to redesign their houses without the need to get approval from landlords.In fact, Linking Words
this
situation has a good factor which is Personal Freedom to do their preferred work.
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To sum up
, the economic impact is the main element that leads populations to buy their own home because they know that they do not need to pay a great deal of money to live in the same district. Linking Words
Moreover
, I believe that Homeownership affects people's mental health ,and they are free to alter their decorations.Linking Words
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly saying 'living in their own home,' you can use synonyms or rephrase the idea to maintain variety.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, elaborate on why owning a house in Tehran offers greater benefits beyond just economic reasons.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main topic and maintains a strong, central point throughout. This can be enhanced by using transition words or phrases.
Task Achievement
The essay was well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing both parts of the question adequately.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main points were generally well-supported, providing a logical flow from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
The attempt to link economic conditions to the desire for homeownership was clear and logically presented.