IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below show how instant noodles are manufactured.

4.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The diagram below show how instant noodles are manufactured.
The process illustrates the production of instant noodles.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are eight stages from
storaging
Correct your spelling
storing
 flour in silos to labelling and sending products to
super markets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, flour is carried to sillos where they are stored for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future usage. After being loaded onto trucks, flour is
then
Linking Words
 transferred and put into the mixer. When water and oil are added to the
ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
, dough sheets are produced.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the sheets are turned into dough strips. At
this
Linking Words
 point, the strips are organised in a
circle- shape
Correct your spelling
circle-shaped
show examples
 formation which is called noodles discs. They are
then
Linking Words
coocked
Correct your spelling
cooked
 in oil. When they are ready, they will be left for a
while
Linking Words
 to get dried. Dried noodles
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
then
Linking Words
 put in cups and for producing different flavours, the company adds vegetables or spices in order to make them more delicious. After being labelled and sealed
at the end
Linking Words
 of the process, the products are
finally
Linking Words
 sent to
covenienece
Correct your spelling
convenience
 stores. People can save a considerable portion of time by eating
this
Linking Words
 kind of fast food.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays:
  • 6
    band

    in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment

    Private trainers are in higher demand in several countries. Conducting the trainers has more benefit in performing sports or physical exercise as they can likely scan through a diet habit and the abilities of individuals that can perform during the session. I believe that there would be a positive impact from getting a private trainer instead of doing class activities. Nowadays, more and more people build a healthy habit by making time to go to the gym and eating clean. Going to the gym doesn't help a person get into shape; thus, this is where the private instructor gets involved. To be honest, hiring the instructor is costly, but he or she helps to advise on good posture as well as knows various types of exercise that can benefit the targeted body parts. For example, adding extra weight to certain exercises when they believe that their trainee is capable. Moreover, fitness trainers are more likely to give suggestions on the series of meals that are essential for the body during the...
  • 6
    band

    What are your Achievements in 2023 and Revolutions in 2024

    Many things happened in 2023, and there were revolutions in 2024. Last year was a year of surprise and happiness because we bought a new house and gained Canadian citizenship. Firstly, my family was so lucky when we bought a house. We were fortunate because we found a pretty cheap house, but the house is still beautiful, big, and near everything. Our house was near school, the mall, and even downtown, making our transportation faster and taking less time. Secondly, we finally gained Canadian citizenship. My mom studied and worked hard every day for this. She spent time daily improving her English skills for IELTS and working hard to gain some plus points for a better chance of achieving Canadian citizenship. After all the work, she now has Canadian citizenship, and because of that, I became a Canadian citizen, too. To sum up, I bought a new house and became a Canadian citizen, making 2023 the best year in my life until now.
  • 6
    band

    Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

    There is no denying the fact that reading is a crucial thing to improve the child's mind. However, there is also an argument about what kind of materials are the best for kids, traditional paper or electronic paper. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
  • 6
    band

    It is said that the education system is the most critical factor in the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

    The role of education in national progress has long been a subject of debate among policymakers and scholars. While various factors such as economic stability, political governance, and technological innovation contribute to a country’s advancement, I firmly believe that a robust education system is the cornerstone of sustainable development. This is because education not only cultivates human capital but also fosters social cohesion and drives innovation.
  • 6
    band

    The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    The question of whether the media should focus more on problems has sparked heated debate. Some argue that negative contents are harmful to individuals, while others see that problems and emergencies are worth the public’s attention. My personal idea is the latter should be more emphasized because media can actually provide in-time information for disaster forecasting or prevention. In this essay, I will elaborate more detail and provide my personal opinions.