The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

#demand #electricity #england #winter #summer #english #home

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The graph illustrates the order

for

Change preposition

show examples

electricity

Use synonyms

in England during normal days in winter and summer. And the pie chart explains how

electricity

Use synonyms

is used in a home.

Although

Linking Words

, the daily demand for

electricity

Use synonyms

in summer is from 17,000 in 3

hours

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, 14,000 in 6 and 9

hours

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, 20,000 in 12

hours

Use synonyms

furthermore

Linking Words

, 18,000 in 15

hours

Use synonyms

and remain constant till

21hours

Correct your spelling

21 hours

. Wherever, 19,000 in 24

hours

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

to that, the daily demand for

electricity

Use synonyms

in winter is 40,000 in 3

hours

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile, 30,000 in 6

hours

Use synonyms

and 9

hours

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

remain

Wrong verb form

remaining

show examples

40,00 in 12,15 and 18

hours

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, 45,000 in 21

hours

Use synonyms

Whereas

Linking Words

, 32,000 in 24

hours

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, 52.5%

Use synonyms

electricity

Change preposition

of electricity

show examples

is used for hosting rooms and heating water. But

also

Linking Words

, 17.5% is used for

oven

Fix the agreement mistake

ovens

show examples

and washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

. Even though, 15% is applicable for lighting, TV and radio.

Thus

Linking Words

, 15% is applicable for vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electric tools. In conclusion, the graph shows

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how much there is demand for daily

electricity

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

the pie chart shows that for what the

electricity

Use synonyms

is used for.

Submitted by nidarif855 on Mon Jan 06 2025

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, hours with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

183 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demand for electricity
typical days
line graph
seasonal variation
peak
fluctuations
exceeds
units of electricity
distribution of electricity usage
heating
water heating
combined total
major uses
lighting
ovens
kettles
washing machines
miscellaneous appliances
electronics
total usage
account for

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The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior manager to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.