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Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how glass is recycled. The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950

The diagram below shows how glass is recycled. The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950
#glass #diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction
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The diagram illustrates the
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
 of how glass is recycled, at West Park Secondary School since it was built in 1950.
Overall
Linking Words
, at first glance, it becomes apparent that there are various steps beginning
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 collecting glasses and
plastics
Fix the agreement mistake
plastic
show examples
materialls
Correct your spelling
materials
,
ending
Correct word choice
and ending
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 producing new
products
Use synonyms
. it is worth
mentationed
Correct your spelling
mentioning
 that
this
Linking Words
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
show examples
 into two
categorized
Replace the word
categories
show examples
 either by colour or thickness and quality, after
Correct article usage
the transpoting
show examples
transpoting
Correct your spelling
transporting
transposing
 step.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
firstly
Linking Words
 a significant
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
 of glasses and plastics are collected, after transporting
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
factory
Add an article
the factory
a factory
show examples
, they
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
show examples
 into two different groups.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the first group,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of plastic
that is
Linking Words
soarted
Correct your spelling
sorted
started
 by colour,
move
Correct subject-verb agreement
moves
show examples
 to
crushing
Correct article usage
the crushing
show examples
 sector, after two steps including washing and melting, which should be done by
separated
Replace the word
separate
show examples
 machines, the new
products
Use synonyms
 are reshaped and produced.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the period of
this
Linking Words
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
 has consisted from 5 to 10 days.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second group, soarting plastic done by thickness and quality
Add a missing verb
was transfered
show examples
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 to bundling, after shredding, they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 washed carefully. In the next step, melting and reshaping
products
Use synonyms
 are done by some machines.
Finally
Linking Words
, new
products
Use synonyms
 are produced. Noticeably, these steps take
long
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
approximately 3 to 8 weeks.
Submitted by mahanz on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words products with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycle, recycling center, environmental conservation, sustainability
  • cullet, impurities, contaminants, furnace, melting point
  • molding, blowing, quality control, standards, safety requirements
  • infrastructure, structural modifications, technological advancements
  • learning spaces, repurposed, computer labs, smartboards
  • landscaping, playgrounds, historical significance, societal values
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