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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United kingdown, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United kingdown, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph compares the average emission of carbon dioxide per individual in four
countries
Use synonyms
 (United Kingdom,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Italy,
Portugal
Correct word choice
and Portugal
show examples
) over a
period
Use synonyms
 of 40 years. The data is calibrated in metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
. To give an overview, it is evident that the UK had the highest carbon dioxide emission values,
while
Linking Words
 Portugal was significantly lower.
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, peaked in 1977 before reaching its lowest point in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 showed significant growth over the
period
Use synonyms
, the other two showed a noticeable decline, indicating contrasting trends in the data. In 1967, Great Britain recorded the highest Carbon dioxide emissions at approximately 11 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
, followed by a modest decrease throughout the
period
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 before reaching nearly 9 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in the end still being at the top among all other
countries
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 started at almost 9 metric
tonnes
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 and increased slightly reaching its peak at just over 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 before experiencing a sharp fall in 1987 and hitting a low of almost 5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, at the start of the
period
Use synonyms
, Italy and Portugal were at nearly 4 and 1 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
, respectively. Both of these
countries
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 showed a similar pattern of upward trend with Italy at nearly 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and Portugal at the same level as
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in 2007.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, sweden, period, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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