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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities over three time periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities over three time periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph provided demonstrates the increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of citizens in some of the world's largest (
Tokyo
Use synonyms
, New York, Shanghai,
Bombay
Use synonyms
 and
Jakarta
Use synonyms
) cities over 3 time periods (1970, 1990 and 2010).
Overall
Linking Words
, after analyzing the graph, it can be seen that the area that had the largest increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of citizens was
Tokyo
Use synonyms
, which recorded the highest over the 3 time periods.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, New York had the least
growth
Use synonyms
 in population by the end of the time period.
To begin
Linking Words
, in 1970,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 was in the lead regarding population
growth
Use synonyms
 and it recorded just over 15
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Jakarta
Use synonyms
 and
Bombay
Use synonyms
 showed the least
growth
Use synonyms
 rate and hit only 5
million
Use synonyms
 and approximately 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 respectively. Moving on to 1990, the
number
Use synonyms
 of residents in
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 soared to approximately 23
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Bombay
Use synonyms
 and
Jakarta
Use synonyms
 had the least amount of increase with
Bombay
Use synonyms
 hitting half of that of
Tokyo
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 (around 11.5
million
Use synonyms
), and
Jakarta
Use synonyms
 just hitting under 10
million
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2010, the
number
Use synonyms
 of citizens in
Bombay
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed and hit approximately 27
million
Use synonyms
 and was the second most populated city after
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 which recorded around 28
million
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, New York had the least amount of
growth
Use synonyms
 and only recorded around 17
million
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tokyo, bombay, jakarta, growth, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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