IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

#people #health #clubs #gyms #care #say #stairs
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Failure
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role
to give
Change preposition
in giving
show examples
 the exact meaning of success.
Everyones
Correct your spelling
Everyone
show examples
 face
failure
Use synonyms
 almost on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis in small or big tasks. I
am partially agree
Change the verb form
partially agree
show examples
 with
given
Correct article usage
the given
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 statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am giving my viewpoints
included
Wrong verb form
including
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 examples in upcoming paragraphs. To embark
that
Change preposition
on that
show examples
,
efforts
Correct article usage
the efforts
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 of everyone totally
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 on the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 anything. If a person wants to achieve any goal he will do smart
as well as
Linking Words
 hard work all day. Because he knows only these steps are
heplful
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to overcome
fear
Add an article
the fear
a fear
show examples
 of
failure
Use synonyms
 and face success.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
, every target requires
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of attention and concentration. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people set
target
Correct article usage
a target
show examples
 but do not make appropriate efforts to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 it.
Than
Replace the word
Then
show examples
 definitely, They will
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 and it is the main evidence of poor efforts.
Last
Linking Words
 but
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 least, an individual pays attention to those things only which are very important to survive.
Linking Words
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the end when they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fail in any situation that means these things
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not important.
For example
Linking Words
, almost all students pass their final exams with flying
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 as compared to
mid term
Add a hyphen
mid-term
show examples
 tests because they know final grades are directly
connect
Wrong verb form
connected
show examples
 with their
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
. On the flip side,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 a person
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 more excited towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success and he takes blindly
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 because he knows he will get excellent
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 at any cost.
That is
Linking Words
 why, an individual does
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
show examples
 thing and
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 wrong actions in over
excitment
Correct your spelling
excitement
. It is the main cause to face
failure
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nervousness and anxiety
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
bad
Change preposition
to bad
show examples
 consequences. Many people feel nausea, shivering and
goose bumps
Correct your spelling
goosebumps
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 examination day
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
eveything
Correct your spelling
everything
 gets
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
 that, most of the learners
apper
Correct your spelling
appear
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 with good practice and confidence but at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exam time, they get nervous and
do
Verb problem
give
show examples
 incorrect
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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answers. It directly
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
failure
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, a person can not achieve
outcome
Correct article usage
an outcome
show examples
 without setting
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
appropriate goals. Our actions change
accourding
Correct your spelling
according
 to our needs.
Submitted by hoenytoor on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words to better connect ideas and ensure that the essay flows smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your points and enhance the essay's task achievement score.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Avoid ambiguous or unclear statements, and ensure each sentence actively contributes to the argument.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a structure to the essay.
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